Cancer Now What

in 2013 if you remember our son Hammy had a brain tumor removed and thank Christ, survived. That was a very stressful time for my wife and I, the thought of losing our son terrified us and our hearts were broken that at age 12 he would be struck down with a brain tumor, as I said he survived, he is now the picture of perfect health, to look at and talk to him youd never know that just a year ago he was fighting for his young life.

Now I am not really a religious person, I am spiritual, but I have to say last year I spent a great many days and nights praying, we had great support from friends,family, and the little village where we live, we got through the ordeal and were left emotionally raw but unified as a family.

Flip the page to 2014, and another bombshell hits our family causing mass emotional casualties and plunging our quiet lives into utter chaos.

In December my Wife developed a persistent cough, we passed it off as bronchitis as both Hammy and I just came through a bout of it, so we thought nothing much about it, my wifes cough did not go away at all through January, finally February rolls around and I convince her to go to the doctor,the doctor thinks it is a lung infection and gives her some antibiotics and a chest x ray, the x ray shows 2 small black spots on her left lung, the x ray doesnt clearly show the right lung so the doctor says go home take the antibiotics and he will set up a ct scan appointment because he has some concerns about those 2 spots.

Feb. 10th I take my wife in for her ct scan, 10 minutes later the technician comes out with a very worried look and says you NEED to take her to emergency at the general hospital, I called they are waiting for you.

I panic and speed her over to the general, they were waiting, they put her in a room and hook up a ton of machines to her, start taking blood and asking a million questions, finally after a few hours specialists start coming in and talking to us, first they inform us that she has a bad pulmonary embolism (blood clot) in her lung and it could kill her if it broke free and travelled to her heart. they gave her a shot of fragmin in her belly (blood thinner)then they proceed to tell us about the 2 small spots on her left lung, then about the golf ball sized tumor on her right lung, they are pretty sure it is Cancer.

My wife is medicated and not catching all of what is being said, My world collapsed around me as I spoke with the doctors, Lung Cancer! she doesnt smoke, never has, doesnt drink, never has, has never taken any illegal drugs or other substances, never worked in an environment that deals with chemicals or asbestos ( she was a day care teacher for 17 years before becoming a cook at the local pub this past year)

The problem is my wife is asymptomatic , other than a cough she is perfectly healthy, no rapid weight loss, no shortness of breath, no weakness, no getting tired etc etc etc , she is put on fragmin for the embolism and sent home because it is almost the weekend and the labs use that time to catch up not take new clients so we are told to be back at the hospital the following wednesday Feb 26 at 4 pm.

Feb 26 they admit her back into the hospital and keep her, I stayed with her and had a friend look after Hammy at home, the next day they do a biopsy on the tumor to be absolutely sure it is Cancer and which type it is and form a plan on removing it, either by Chemo or surgery.

My wife came through the biopsy well enough, her lung did not collapse they kept x raying her every hour to be sure and kept her for another night, she was a bit miffed that she couldnt go home that night, but I had to head home and take care of some business, I went back to the hospital this last Friday to see about bring her home, they were still x raying her every hour and finally around 2 pm said she could come home, the doctors made sure I knew how to inject her with fragmin and made sure she had a 1 month supply, and told us to come back next friday for the biopsy results.

So that is where we are at right now, home waiting for the results.

My wife is not simply my wife, she is also my best friend and my soul mate as well as a mother to a 12 year old boy who looks just like her.
I am truly scared, not much in life scares me, but the thought that I could lose my wife terrifies me beyond belief.
We have been together for 17 wonderful years now and I am praying for at the very least another 17, I truly do not know what I would do without her, I worry about our son and how he would react, he is in emotional hell right now, we both are, him more so since after his surgery he has become more sensitive and emotionally unbalanced, he is in therapy for this and for what is going on with his mother.

I really dont know what else to say or how to end this post, so I will leave it here and update everyone as things happen and develop .

Butch

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My Wife and our Life with Cancer sorry for the lengthy post

So over all my Wife has been doing well, she has had a few set backs, last Thursday she was physically sick, puking and had a bad head ache, she slept most of the day and was feeling better Friday. I am pretty sure her sickness was due to too much medication, she takes 20mgs of Morphine twice per day as well as 10mgs of Oxycodone twice per day, on top of that she took a 10mg Valium in hopes it would help relax her leg and let her sleep, I think it was just too much for her system.

Her left leg has been really bothering her, the most likely cause is fluid build up (there is a medical term for this, and it is quite common, but since I am writing this offline, I can’t look it up),anyway her leg has been bothering her for almost 2 weeks, I did take her to the Doctor and he gave her a couple Cortisone needles with anaesthetics in her leg, it helped her a little bit and on Tuesday she goes for an ex-ray on her leg, just to be sure it is not cancer.

As for her Lung Cancer, so far it is not bothering her, she still mostly just uses her oxygen at night while sleeping, she rests a lot during the day but says her lungs are not hurting and she has no shortness of breath. She has been off Chemo for 5 months now and seems to be doing well, her CT-Scan happens February 4th , we should know the results by the 6th the latest, I am praying that it hasn’t spread further and hope that the Holistic treatments are working to shrink the tumors.

She has remained in good spirits, which is important, she is a strong willed woman who won’t give up, I am pretty sure the main reason she pulled through when the Doctors said notify the family is quite simply her Son “Hammy” , he is her entire world, she was born to be a Mom and a great Mother she is, she loves him more than life itself and that is what I believe keeps her going.

Yes I am sure she loves me as well, but it’s not the same, nor could it ever be, the Bond between a Mother and child is extremely strong and endures through time, and that bonded love is very different than the love and bonds of a spouse/partner, just as I love her and our Son on different levels, it can never be the same, but despite that difference, I’d do absolutely anything for both of them without question.

I’d do anything to have my Wife live to grow old with me, to be there when our son graduates, to be there when he becomes a Cop, to be there at his wedding, to be there to see our future grand children and to help me spoil them rotten, I’d give my very soul if it meant she lives to be old, as it is, none of this will probably come to fruition with her at my side so all I can do is cherish each day that I have with her, to constantly let her know that I LOVE her and will be okay and that I can raise our son to be the man she always dreamed he’d be, all I can do is be there in the here and now with her, there are no more future plans together, it is all down to just one simple day at a time, and I’ll take that if it means she can be here at my side just a while longer.

February 14th will be our 18th Anniversary, I am quite confident that we BOTH will be here to celebrate that milestone together, this year I can’t afford much in the way of a lavish gift, but I do have my Great Grand Mother’s Ruby and Emerald ring, I am taking it to a Jeweler to see if maybe I can do a partial trade on a small diamond ring or maybe just maybe have it turned into a nice necklace for her, I wish I could do more for her but the damn furnace just took too much even on payments, it’s a formidable bill.

I will make her her absolute favorite dinner and our son has volunteered to be our waiter , he will help make the meal too, then her and I will have a candle light dinner after which I will get down on my knee , giver her the gift and 18 red roses and tell her EXACTLY how much I love her, how much she means to me, how happy she has made me all these years and let her know that I have no regrets.

I honestly don’t know how many more Anniversaries I will have with her so I cherish the one coming up now, that’s pretty much my reality now…. just one day at a time, make no plans for the future and hope and pray for the best, I don’t really like the uncertainty of one day at a time,but really….what choice do I really have?

The only regret I have is that Hammy has witnessed the pain and suffering Cancer has caused his Mother, that I couldn’t protect him from seeing his Mom at her lowest point, that last spring I had to sit down on the back steps with him and tell him that his Mother may not survive the night, that she may be called to God’s side in Heaven….. I pray for every person reading this, that none of you will ever have to have THAT talk with a child, it is a very gut wrenching soul searing hard thing to do, to look a child in the eyes and tell them that their Mother/Father/Parent may die. That conversation damned near killed me, but it had to be done, he had and still has the right to know the truth and the facts, to not tell him would be to lose his trust completely, to not tell him would be an outright lie even by omission, to not tell him could have made him resentful, it could and probably would have made him HATE for the first time in his life, and could have led to problems with drugs or alcohol. As hard as it was, I had that very conversation with him.

Like me, Our Son is aware of just how serious this could get, it has changed all our lives, not just my wife’s, Cancer is like that, it infects and permeates around and within everyone who is involved with the person who has the actual disease, it takes over everyone’s lives not just the Patient, all you can do is go on living your lives as best as you can knowing the Cancer is still there and probably always will be, you try and work around it but you can never truly avoid it, it’s always there, just silently watching and waiting, you try to remain positive and even ignore the cancer, still it’s in your worst nightmares,it’s in the eyes of your child when he sees his Mom is not feeling well, it’s inside your head as you change the oxygen tanks and help your wife clean herself, it’s always there, even on good days when your wife is happy and bright eyed and has energy to spare, a sudden coughing spell and the blood on her lips Snap you back to the stark reality of Cancer, like an insidious demon from hell it latches onto entire families and slowly, ever so slowly strangles the life out of everyone.

You beg and plead with your God not to take her away from you and the boy, you bargain you say and do anything to buy more time, just one more Day please please please, just one more day, you fall to your knees and beg for strength and mercy to carry on to be strong for your wife, to be strong for your son, you give false hope, not meaning to or wanting to, you tell her that it’s going to be okay, she just has to stay strong and fight the Cancer, that she can do this and that you will be there every step of the way fighting alongside her, you tell her no matter what happens that you will never give up turn away or stop loving her, you bare your very soul for God and the world to see, your heart is permanently tattooed on your shirt sleeve, you are exposed to mental and emotional pain, you weep when someone you don’t even know dies of cancer, you rejoice when someone you don’t even know survives, you spend hundreds of hours researching alternative medicines and therapies that you might try with your wife, you network like crazy searching out those who have fought or are fighting for their lives against this evil vile disease, you do this without ever being asked, you do it out of love and fear, the love you have and want to continue to have with your wife, the fear , the constant fear of losing your soul mate, losing the only woman you have ever truly loved, fear of becoming a single parent and having to pick up the shattered life of a young son and carry on. Through all this turmoil, you learn quickly to appreciate each day that you have as a complete family,you are grateful and thankful each morning that you wake up and she is there at your side, Tomorrows never come when your living with cancer,today is all that matters.

I’ll stop now sorry for the long post, thanks for your time, Remember folks: express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted, and be kind to others.

Butch.
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My Wife our Son Cancer raw honest thoughts and feelings coping

My wife had a rough night last night, she didn’t sleep well and was feeling pressure on her chest and had to use her oxygen all night, I am worried that the cancer is acting up again. Right now I have her upstairs resting on her oxygen, I check on her every hour to make sure all is well, she is sleeping soundly, I said I would wake her up around noon, but I think I am just going to let her sleep until 2 or 3 pm.

To be perfectly honest…. I am worried and a bit scared, if the cancer is acting up it means many more trips to the hospital and the risk of losing her greatly increases yet again, I am not ready to lose my wife, I am not ready to be a single “Dad”/parent (our son calls me Dad) , I am not ready to explain to a 13 year old boy that God needed his Mom in Heaven, I am not ready to bury her, I am just not ready period.

For the last 2 months my wife has been doing very well, she has been off chemo and living a relatively normal life, though her social life took a big hit, her immune system is so severely compromised that we have had to avoid large crowds and limit who can come over to our house, if you have a cold or flu or any sort of contagious illness then you can’t come in our house, the littlest thing can be fatal to my wife.

For the last 2 months I have once again been able to work a couple hours per night (at a friends bar) and one full day every week (cleaning the local church), the extra work is my escape, for a couple hours at least I don’t have to stare death in the face everytime I look my wife in the eye, her eyes have lost their sparkle and are rather dull, I don’t have to think about cancer or what it’s done to my family, to my wife, it’s an insidious disease, it doesn’t just have an effect on the person who has it, it affects everyone involved with that person, it is always there, relentlessly chipping away at everyones faith and strength.

I look after my wife and family as best as I can, I make sure she wants for nothing, make sure she takes all her meds, make sure her oxygen machine is clean and working properly, make sure she has enough portable tanks for when we have to go somewhere, make sure she eats, make sure she eats healthy, constantly point out the positives in her life and keep telling her just how beautiful and strong she is and letting her know just how much she is loved.

I spend as much time with our son as possible too, and always tell him just how very proud of him I am,that his Mother is also very proud of him, we work on his homework together, he helps me in my shop, and we divvy up the house chores and both do our best, I encourage him to go out and be with his friends, and we play video games together, during the summer we help each other with our work, I am so very proud of him, this last summer our son pretty much ran my entire business on his own while I was away at the hospital with my wife, he did a very good job, I am still getting letters from people saying how impressed they are with our son, they had serious doubts that a 13 year old could do the job, but he proved to them that he could and he was very knowledgeable about the equipment and work, it makes my heart sore with pride when I get a letter like that, that’s our boy! that’s my boy! I shed tears of happiness and joy knowing that I can count on our son when the chips are down.

I also worry about our son, no 13 year old should have to work that hard, no 13 year old should be faced with the fact that their Mother is at some point going to pass on, no 13 year old should be have to be living on borrowed time with their family, no 13 year old should have to grow up that damn fast,

2013 our son was just a little boy fighting for his own life with a brain tumor that was hell bent on killing him, he thankfully recovered from his surgery and thankfully they got ALL of the tumor, then in 2014 our little boy became a MAN , he set aside his own recovery and difficulties and stepped up to the plate and took over my business , and ran it like a professional, he took care of his Family when I could not, he not only worked his ass off managing my yard maintenance business, he worked his ass off at home too, he got a crash course in cooking as he often had to make his own suppers, he got a crash course in house cleaning so his Mother could sleep and recover from her Cancer treatments, he grew up too damn fast and is now forever changed, he will never be our little boy again, he is now our young man, he goes to school, hangs with his friends, but always phones home and asks if we need him for anything and to see how his Mom is doing.

I sit here with tears streaming down my face writing this blog entry, Tears of pride for my son, tears of gratefulness for everyone who rallied behind my little family, not once but twice,tears of sorrow because I fear time once again is beginning to grow short with my wife, tears of frustration because I feel I haven’t done enough, and I really don’t have a clue what else to do for my wife,tears of rage , I am so angry, so very angry that my wife is stricken with Lung Cancer, she has never smoked a day in her life, she is such a beautiful person and doesn’t deserve this, no one deserves this,but least of all her.

When I leave my little blurb at the bottom of my blog express your love often – I mean express your love to those around you, your friends,your family,your partner, your children, I say this always to remind you not to take them for granted that they will always be there with you, let them know how much you love them each day because you never know when they will be taken from you, let them know they are truly loved so they can go peacefully.

when i write never take tomorrow for granted- I mean simply that sometimes tomorrow never comes so embrace each day and live it to your fullest as though it was your last.

when I write be kind to others – I mean friends and strangers alike, rich or poor, we each are hurting, suffering,going through our own hell, a simple smile, an act of kindness towards others can make a world of difference to the recipient of your gesture,unless told we don’t know what is going on in another persons life, sometimes a simple smile an act of acknowledgement an act of kindness means the difference between life and death…literally.

I am not a wise person,I am nobody special, just another human being trying to survive in this world and do the best I can with what I have, I try not to hurt others or myself, I try to do the best I can for my family and friends, sometimes it’s not enough, it’s not enough, but I just keep trying, I try to do my best each day and live my life to the best of my ability, when I do that those around me benefit as well, I keep a weathered eye on the horizon searching out the positives in a negative world, despite my families struggle and strife with Cancer there are positives from it, for it has brought us all closer, it has tested our mettle, it has made me stronger, it has humbled me, it brought me closer to my god, it has drawn me closer to my little family and has made me cherish each day that we have together, I know we are on borrowed time, I am not foolish enough to think my wife is going to be miraculously cured, it has taught me how to suffer in silence and grace, it has taught me how to set an example for our son and others by never giving up.

I am going to stop here and go check on my wife, so you all know the drill :express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted,and be kind to others

Butch
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My Wife’s Cancer is taking it’s toll

So as you all know my wife has lung cancer, a rare form of it, we got to see the CT Scan on June 4th, it’s not good, my wife has a very large aneurysm on her main artery that goes to her right lung, it is caused by the cancerous tumor, the chemo is causing the tumor to shrink so that for the first time the Doctors can see what is going on behind and around it, and the tumor has done a lot of damage.

My Wife’s chemo treatments have been suspended until the aneurysm is repaired, which is scheduled to happen Tuesday June 10th at the General Hospital in Regina (Saskatchewan,Canada) , it’s a high risk surgery as she also has a massive blood clot in her heart (in the upper right chamber), they can’t do anything that will cause that clot to break free and travel to her 1 remaining fully functioning lung or even worse pass through her heart, either situation is fatal to her.

She takes daily Fragmin (blood thinner) injections, 15,000 IU per shot, it is slowly dissolving that blood clot and others in her bad lung, so it’s not like nothing is being done to fix the blood clot.

The scary part aside from the pending surgery to repair the aneurysm is the fact that her chemo is temporarily suspended, which means that damn Cancer tumor is going to start growing again, it’s a extremely aggressive cancer (synovial sarcoma), the tumor grows daily not gradually, as the Doctor aptly put it :My Wife is caught between the Devil and the deep blue sea!, meaning she is going to die without surgery to repair the aneurysm and she may die if the surgery is not a success, add to that a growing cancerous tumor and the outcome is not very good.

The plan is to do the surgery on June 10th, then transfer her from the General to the Allen Blair Cancer Center and start the chemo on the 11th, the 12th the absolute latest, she has no recovery time , she can’t afford a couple days or a week to recover from the surgery, the chemo has to start asap as the tumor will be growing by then, she was suposed to do her chemo today but it was cancelled until after the surgery, the Doctors didn’t want to give the surgeons any excuse to say they couldn’t operate.

So that is where we are at with everything, I am very scared and worried for my wife, I am not prepared to bury her , I can’t imagine life without her, we have been together for 17 wonderful years and have beat the odds and built a life and a family together, Outwardly I remain rock solid, I am my wife’s emotional rock , I remain strong and confident for her and for Hammy (our son) , but inwardly my very soul is crying in anguish, my heart is breaking for my wife, I step outside for a few moments every few hours to pull myself together, I write in my blog to weigh everything out, to share our story with others, to let the world know about my beautiful amazing wife , to collect my thoughts and as a form of therapy, and yes if and when my wife passes I shall continue to blog, it will be hard , but I want my wifes life to be celebrated by the world, and to let others who may be dealing with a serious illness or a loss know that I understand what they are going through,and no matter the outcome, life has to go on as hard as it may be.

So that’s all I have to say for tonight, remember folks, don’t take tomorrow for granted, express your love often, and be kind to others, Peace and love to you all

Butch
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Cancer its devastating effects on loved ones

My wife has stage 4 lung cancer and it has spread to her lymph nodes and I fear beyond as she has great difficulty swallowing liquids, she can swallow solid food but has to use a teaspoon to sip water,juice,milk,etc.

Watching my wife go through this is beyond heart breaking, I have no words to accurately describe just exactly what I am feeling, heart broken, scared, worried,numb all of that and a million more emotions that I can not describe.

Our son "Hammy" is just 12 years old, he is going through his own emotional hell, he is very angry at God, he is scared, angry, heart broken, panic stricken, he has always been his Mommas boy and the thought of losing her is killing him.

"Hammy" and I do our best to do all the house chores, look after her, fulfill her every wish,want,and need, our day begins around 6 am and usually ends around 11 pm , "Hammy" and I are both very stressed, "Hammy" has a school counselor he can talk to twice per week and his youth counselor in the city that he sees twice per month, it does help him some but no amount of talking or therapy can ease the pain he feels.

I do not have anyone to talk to at this point, I just dont have the time, between caring for my wife and making sure our son doesnt come unglued, yes I have friends, but it is a hell of a burden to put on them if I start talking about it with them, and I can only imagine how uncomfortable it would make them feel, so I try to cope by posting on this blog, I realize that this venue can not express the emotional hell I am in, but it does give me the chance to really think as I type, so in a sense anyone who reads this blog doubles as my therapist, at least my thoughts are out there in cyber space for anyone to read, I strangely find some small comfort in that.

I have subscribed to a couple Cancer blogs , to learn how others cope and deal with this nasty disease, there is always Hope right? writing is a form of therapy for me I guess, at the moment I have no more tears, I have cried them all out, I have been taking care of the nasty bits in life, setting aside money for her funeral if and when that day comes, making sure her living will is in order, making sure that the details are all taken care of, its a struggle at times, Ive gone so far as to refinance the land we purchased together to make the payments easier to handle alone.

anyway thats about all I have to say right now, except please give those you love an extra hug, express your love often to each other(s) , and spend more time in each others company.

Butch
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Despite the Cancer life has to go on

My Wife has been feeling really good lately, all last week and this week so far she has been almost back to her happy former self, she can’t work or go for her long walks but she does go outside and sit on the deck we built together last summer, she putters around the house doing light house keeping, she is back to cooking suppers for Hammy (our son) and I, and gosh let me tell you….my Wife really knows her way around a kitchen! that girl can cook!

This may sound mundane to you the reader, but these simple things that we all take for granted are a very big accomplishment for my Wife, just 4 short months ago we found out she had stage 4 lung cancer, the prognosis wasn’t good, we were told to make final arrangements quickly as she only had 3 to 6 months to live.

We are now on the 4th month, and after 2 rounds of Chemo her health as improved….well okay I am sure her health hasn’t improved, it’s her quality of life that has improved, needless to say we do NOT take tomorrow for granted, we cherish each day, good or bad and pray for just 1 more day together.

Tomorrow she goes back to the Cancer center to be evaluated and booked in, by Friday they will have a bed ready and she will go in for her 3rd and final round of Chemo, after that they want to give her a CT Scan to see what the Chemo has done (if anything) , if it has done what they hope it has, the Doctors will figure out the next step, if that step is more Chemo or surgery we just don’t know yet, and we won’t know until after that CT Scan.

So now that my Wife has been feeling better and is able to be on her own for a couple hours, I have been playing catch up on my spring chores, such as digging my 1 ton work van out of my sisters yard where I parked it last fall, the ground went soft with the spring melt and hence, the van sank right up to it’s bumpers! I did get it out after a half day of digging and pulling with the Kubota (tractor), had to jump start the van as the winter killed the battery. After that I came home dusted off my Wife’s little red car and put the battery charger on it for a couple hours, battery is charged but the serpentine belt broke, so that is on my “to do” list, replace the belt.

Life has to go on despite the Cancer, I have been stealing an hour here and an hour there to putter in the flower gardens, I have been planting giant sunflowers (well hopefully they will be giants when they grow) , I have a great fondness for sunflowers, why I do not know, I have a wide variety of seeds to plant yet,

I enjoy gardening, both flower and veggie gardening, as does my Wife, this year it’s all me doing the seeding and her telling me what goes where exactly, I don’t mind, she always has been and always will be “The Boss” , I am not too prideful or too Butch to admit that my Wife is indeed the Boss, even while sick she runs the house, she manages the budgets and lets me know what bill needs to be paid, she makes out the shopping list and I follow it faithfully, she lets me know when Hammy needs new clothes etc, as I said she is the Boss, she is an organized person who likes lists and budgets, I am more of a just “wing it” kind of person.

I never once attempted to take any sort of control of the house away from her, even when she is so sick she can’t get out of bed, instead I just pick up where she left off and take care of things and when she starts feeling better I hand over the reigns back to her.

anyway, it is late, thank you for letting me ramble (blogging is therapy for me), remember to express your love often, and never take tomorrow for granted. Peace be with you all

Butch
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Holistic Journey what exactly my wife is doing to combat the cancer within

This Blog post is about Holistic/Homeopathic Healing, particularly what my wife is doing to Combat her Lung Cancer, I want to STRESS that the Medical worlds use of Chemo Therapy is what in fact saved her life, and after 8 rounds of Chemo over the course of 8 months, she survived and was able to begin the Holistic part of her fight against Cancer.

All over the internet you can read about folks who have cured themselves with various holistic and non medical methods, Rick Simpson is a good example, he in fact did cure his cancer with Hemp Oil, there are many many stories about Hemp Oil and of people who have been cured from using it, and they are in fact true. Hemp oil is most certainly a good tool in the fight against Cancer, The reason why they don’t use it in Hospitals? Because the big drug companies can’t patent a plant that anyone can grow! Sad but true.

There are other Cancer fighters out there that can help combat, manage and cure Cancers, like B-17 ( Laetrile/Amygdalin) my wife takes it in capsule form 100 mg 3X per day, now the capsules are illegal in many places (due mostly to cyanide build up fears by the medical profession), Mexico uses B-17 in their hospitals to treat Cancer patients, if you can’t find B-17 in capsule form all is not lost, you can get Apricot bitters (crushed/ground up Apricot seeds) at your local health food or Holistic store, there is Laetrile in them, you can use a grinder and grind them down further and make your own capsules if need be, or sprinkle it in your foods and salads, you can also simply eat the crushed seeds.

Curcumin (Turmeric extract) is also another Cancer fighting agent, and is legal world wide, my wife takes 680 mg 3X per day in capsule form, this stuff does more than just fight cancer, if you have arthritis it helps lessen the frequency of the flare ups and helps boost your immune system, you can find a ton of information on Curcumin (turmeric extract) online and it’s various uses.

Cannabis Sativa seed oil is a weaker but legal version of Hemp oil, it can be found at health food stores and Holistic stores , my wife takes 760mg 3 X per day in capsule form , the THC level is so low that it’s not even mentioned on the ingredient list, but the Cannabinoids are all there that are needed to combat cancers where as Hemp oil is high in THC. (Hemp oil would obviously be the better choice of the two, but you work with what’s available) Hemp oil is really expensive and unaffordable to many people (including us) so we use the affordable Cannabis Sativa seed oil..

Another thing she does is change the PH balance in her body, Cancer likes an acidic environment, 1 teaspoon of Baking Soda in an 8 ounce glass of lemon water (no sugar) and she drinks that 3X per day to maintain a PH balance that the Cancer can not thrive in…. Baking soda was found to combat cancers very early in the last century (late 1800’s early 1900’s) there is a lot of info online about it.

Finally Chemo destroys your immune system, making it so you can’t be around people with colds or flu’s or any illness as what is minor to them could be fatal to you, the medical world generally doesn’t tell you when your immune system will start recovering or if it will recover at all…. so many questions left unanswered, for a mega immune booster (and again a cancer fighter) Honey and Ginger , I make mason jars of this for my wife, basically I fill half a mason jar with honey, then the other half with fresh shopped and diced Ginger and mix it all together thoroughly, my wife takes 1 teaspoon 4X per day straight out of the jar, it has to be a plastic or ceramic spoon as metal spoons cause some sort of chemical reaction, I found this recipe online , and I can tell you after 3 days of her doing this her energy levels are through the roof!

These are the Homeopathic medicines that my wife uses, I can’t tell you what capsule is working or what combination she is taking that is working, but what she is taking is helping her, is it Curing her Cancer?? … I won’t be able to tell you until February the 11th , when we find out the results of the CT Scan which happens February 4th . It truly is helping her, but if it’s curing her we don’t know just yet.

I won’t say screw the medical world and fight cancer on your own with Holistics and homeopathy, that choice is yours and yours alone, but I will say that supplementing medical treatment with holistics can be a good thing and generally won’t hurt you, But Definitely look into Hemp oil, if you can afford it and obtain it , it may just be the magic bullet as there is so much information out there on it.

The whole point of this post is NOT to say screw medical help, the point is to put it out there and make people aware that there are alternatives, that there is more options than just Chemo, to get people to start researching alternatives to Chemo, to make people aware that we do not have to rely on the big drug and pharmaceutical companies to heal us when we are broken, that there are alternatives, to share information on what works, or seems to work, to make people aware.

The above regimen that my wife is on is working for her, will it work the same for you? I don’t know, as I stated we are not sure what combinations are doing what, so we stick to them all and that seems to be benefiting her a very great deal, she is pain free and has no shortness of breath, she is able to have an almost normal life again, she feels good and is healthy, as I also said she gets a CT scan February 4th and we will find out just how much all of this is helping February 11th, and you can bet I will post the results here in my Blog.

So that’s it for now, from My little Family to you and yours , Have a Blessed and Merry Christmas

Remember folks, express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted,and be kind to others

Butch
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Cancer Chemo and prognosis

So my wife went into the hospital wednesday, thursday they put the picc in her arm and did a battery of tests as well as a ct scan, the cancer has spread , she has a rare cancer called Synovial Sarcoma, its a hyper aggressive cancer that usually starts in the arms or legs rarely if ever does it start in an organ, only with my wife, that is exactly where it started, in her lungs.

she is on her second round of chemo , they did one round last night ,and will get another round tomorrow, they have to go at this cancer very aggressively, they cant cure her, only delay the final outcome, her prognosis is 3 months or less without treatment, 6 months to 1 year maybe a bit more with chemo.

the doctor said they are hopeful, my wife wants to live, she is fighting the cancer with everything she has, our 12 year old son is a basket case and I am not far behind, I try and be strong and not cry in front of him or her, but its so damn hard, today I had to spoon feed my wife apple sauce, that alone nearly did me in, she later upchucked it.

Today I asked my wife to marry me all over again, renew our vows, she said yes, I broke down and had to leave the room momentarily.

I have had 17 incredible amazing years with her and have not 1 single regret, she has been a true blessing in my life, knowing that soon I will be burying her is tearing me apart, when I look at our son I see an awful lot of my wife in him, he is a spitting image of her and his personality is as strong and vibrant as hers.

I love her with all my heart and soul, I want anyone who reads this blog to know and understand that words can not covey how deeply I love her and how devoted I am, have been, and always will be to her, there will NEVER be another person in my life other than our son.

my heart is broken, there is nothing left for me here in this world except our son, my only comfort is knowing that when our son is an adult and out making his own way in life starting his own family, I will then go to be with my wife for all eternity, that is my only comfort.


thats all I have to say right now

hug your partner tight and tell them how much you love them daily

Butch

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Cancer Treatments Alternatives and my Wife life in general so far

So I took my wife to the Cancer Centre today for her check up, the Oncologist did a routine check up on her and is amazed that she is doing so well, in fact he said it is a Bloody Miracle that not only is she alive, but is doing so well! I discussed the use of Curcumin (Turmeric extract) as a cancer treatment as well as Hemp oil, The oncologist said by law he can’t recommend the use of these 2 compounds, but off the record he said that both are good for killing cancer cells and shrinking tumours,but I didn’t hear it from him.

Then it was off to our Family Doctor for prescription refills, he had read today’s oncology report and he too said my wife is experiencing a Miraculous Recovery!!……… That word…. Recovery!! dare I believe? …. I am cautiously optimistic and will remain so until I see the results of the CT Scan that happens at the end of January, her next appointment with the Oncologist happens February 11th, but we will know the results of the CT Scan long before that through our family doctor….we shall see.

I found a supplier of Hemp Oil, Old Fashioned Foods carries it in both liquid and capsule form, I am headed there today or tomorrow to pick up a good supply for my wife, I am also in the process of growing some Cannabis plants for her, there are multiple ways to use the Cannabis for cancer, she can eat it, take the buds (the part people usually smoke) and dry them then sprinkle them into salads and other foods, she can juice the leaves along with kale,celery,and other leafy greens or berries and make a smoothie , or I can convert some of the plants into oil, put the oil into capsules and she can then take the oil in pill form a couple times per day.

Cannabis/Hemp has very good cancer fighting and killing properties, if you are interested and have some extra time Google this guy : Rick Simpson , he wrote an article (possibly a book) called Running from the Cure, this guy had cancer and used Cannabis/Hemp to cure himself, he is the Governments and Medical worlds worst enemy as instead of railing against Cannabis and Hemp use he speaks out for it, and explains why the big Pharmaceutical Companies don’t want you to know about the medical applications for Cannabis and Hemp, it not only helps Cancer Patients, but also MS patients, and may help against Alzheimer’s .

Curcumin (turmeric extract) also does much the same as Cannabis and Hemp for Cancer Patients, it too kills cancer cells and helps promote healthy cells, I have also been reading about changing the PH balance in your body, a half teaspoon of baking soda in an 8oz glass of water twice a day is supposed to alter your PH which apparently Cancer doesn’t like and it is supposed to stop cancer from spreading and may even begin to kill the cancer cells….. Now I haven’t fully researched baking soda and the whole business of changing your PH balance so don’t take this blog as Gospel, it is just something I have stumbled across and thought worth mentioning, please by all means look it up and do some homework on it as well.

One of my goals is to find what works for my wife, then start a new page/blog dedicated to alternatives in the fight against Cancer, but before I can even begin to think of doing such thing, I’d better be DAMN SURE that I have my FACTS straight and HAVE living PROOF that it works, I am never going to start a page/blog that gives false hope to people.

I will state though that the benefits of Cannabis,Hemp and Curcumin (turmeric extract) are very well documented and the proof is getting harder and harder for the medical world to refute. So there IS something there, but again, do your research and homework, I do NOT advocate ignoring conventional Cancer treatments nor do I advocate ignoring the medical world, I would say to try Cannabis/hemp oil and Curcumin in combination with what ever treatments your doctor advises, or after exhausting all other medical avenues, I would NEVER just rely on one method in the fight against cancer.

Chemo saved my wife’s life, that is a FACT, it brought her back from the brink of death…literally, so even though Chemo is hard on your body, has major side effects (physically ill, hair loss,compromises the immune system and can cause major depression) I still advocate it’s use, the benefits of it far outweigh the negatives, it can and does slow the cancer, it can and does kill cancer cells and shrinks tumours, it does save lives and extend life,and sometimes can kill the cancer altogether, of course it depends on the type of cancer and the person.

My wife went through 8 rounds of very aggressive Chemo over the course of 8 months, 8 rounds is really pushing the proverbial envelope, most times the doctors will stop after 6 rounds as more than 6 can often do more harm than good, and sometimes be LETHAL to the person receiving the treatment, but with my wife they pushed it to 8 as the Chemo was shrinking the tumours in her lungs, when they reached number 8 the tumours just wouldn’t shrink anymore so they ceased the treatments.

She was sent home on a 2 month break and to recover from such massive doses of Chemo, it was at that moment where I began seriously researching alternative treatments, I knew about Cannabis/Hemp and it’s healing properties, but knowing about it is not enough, I had to research it more and be sure I had the facts as not knowing can do more harm than good, it is also when I stumbled across Curcumin as a treatment as well and began to do research into it’s use. Also I came across a little bit of information that stated that there was a substance in Celery that had anti Cancer properties , I had always thought that Celery was mostly just made up of water, but hey it’s worth a try right? And celery never killed anyone and makes a good snack, it’s healthy too, did you know that you burn more calories eating a celery stalk than what is in the celery itself? … me either!

There is also a very controversial supplement commonly called B-17 (Laetrile/Amygdalin) that supposedly has cancer fighting properties, my Mother In-law insists that her brother cured his bladder cancer with it, and I have heard that in Mexico they use it in liquid form at hospitals on cancer patients, but as I said, I have just heard about it, it’s all hear say to me and unsubstantiated, but my Mother in law sends a couple bottles every so often so my wife takes them , is it helping? … I don’t know, but it isn’t doing her any harm either, you can also use apricot seeds the same way as they contain the same ingredients as the B-17… I have done a little research on B-17 but there is not a lot out there on it.

I can’t say definitively if any of the alternative treatments (the B-17,Curcumin, or Celery and very shortly the Hemp Oil) is doing anything or helping my wife, but know this, the Doctors are perplexed as they can’t figure out why she is still alive, and why she continues to improve, and how is it she has almost a normal life again. We (my wife and I ) also contribute the power of prayer and positive energies people around the world have been sending to her as being a major factor in the life she has now, I am quite sure that it is helping a great deal.

Anyway, I will stop here so I can go to the city and get my wife some Hemp Oil, I hope this entry has provided information and leads to help others in their struggles with Cancer, I don’t know how to drop links into Open Office yet, but until I do, Google is just a mouse click away for you to look up some of the alternatives I’ve mentioned here in this blog.

Remember folks, express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted and be kind to others

Butch
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Cancer Biopsy its really bad

it is with a heavy heart that I write this blog entry.

Thursday we got the results of my Darling wifes biopsy, its bad, really bad, she has stage 4 lung cancer and it is really aggressive, it has spread to her lymph nodes.
The doctors say they cant operate and theyre not sure chemo would help at all, they gave my Love, my soul mate, my best friend,my wife 6 months to a year at most.

I try to be strong for her as we have a 12 year old son , I had to have the hardest talk ever with him and tell him just how bad this is and that his Mother may be in heaven soon, he is so messed up right now, I am so messed up for I am losing the only woman who I have ever truly loved and theres not a god damned thing I can do about it.

I have concluded that either there is NO God or if there is he is extremely heartless and cruel! my prayers go unanswered, I dont really know what else to say at this point, I will keep this blog going and update as things happen, it will probably get very dark for awhile.

guess thats it for now

you all take care, and hold your loved ones tight and be thankful for the time you have with them

Butch

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