Everythings coming up Roses… so far

Don’t mind me if I seem to have quiet reservations when it comes to my Wife’s health or our son’s mental health for that matter. While not a Debbie Downer or a Doubting Thomas I am genuinely relieved that things are going smoothly and both my wife and son appear to be doing well….. I can’t help but wait with quiet reservation for the Hammer to fall…again.

For those that don’t know, our son had a large brain tumor and had surgery January 7th 2013 to remove it, the surgery was a success and other being partially blind in his right eye and left an emotional wreck he is doing just fine, he is now 13 years old and in grade 8, he loves school and is an almost straight A student.

February 28 ,2014 my wife was diagnosed with stage 4 (end stage) Lung Cancer,and for the last 8 months she has been in and out of the Cancer center receiving Chemo, we almost lost her back in early March,She is on a 2 month break from the Cancer center and doesn’t have to go back until November 25th for a CT-Scan.

So know you can understand why I have my quiet reservations, after 2 years of constant Hospitals and doctors, and almost losing the 2 people who mean more to me than my own life itself, I find it very difficult to be overly optimistic or to let my guard down,I watch over them like a hawk, I ask both of them how they are feeling and doing multiple times per day, every day.

But at the moment our son is doing so well he doesn’t require bi monthly appointments with his counsellor, he is holding his own quite well and seems happy and able to cope with life quite well.

My wife is also doing very well, she only uses her oxygen machine at night when she sleeps, she’s got good control of any pain with twice daily doses of both Morphine and Oxycodone, she is doing so well that she now can share our bed (first time in 8 months) and we are getting back some normalcy in our lives.

This is all great news, but I still can’t bring myself to relax and get complacent, I worry about every little cough or sneeze, I worry that our son will bring home some virus (cold or flu) and I will have to have him stay at a friends until he is better because my wife’s immune system is so severely compromised from all the Chemo, I worry about me getting sick and not being able to look after them or drive her to her many doctor appointments, the rule around this house is if you have a cough you can’t come in, if you have a sneeze you can’t come in, we ask that you wash your hands for at least 60 seconds with soap and water every time you use the washroom (surprisingly many folks don’t do this) and to use hand sanitizer before touching food or while working in the kitchen.

To say I am somewhat stressed would be an understatement, I keep a full tank of gas in the car and the doctors on speed dial. But despite this, I do enjoy spending quality time and conversing with my wife and our son, I stay positive and upbeat for them and listen with a smile as my wife talks about next year being a better year for us all.

So far everything seems to be coming up roses, and I would like for it to stay that way for awhile, I seriously need to decompress and relax a bit and be able to enjoy life being relatively normal for us at the moment.

I blog quite abit about many different things, some are light hearted some a tad more serious, and yes I’ll be posting more recipe’s again in the next little while, I blog for many reasons, one being it is my therapy, I’d go nucking futs if I couldn’t blog!! another reason is, I want the world to know about my wife and son (and I guess me) and how happy they make me and what a blessing each of them are to everyone they meet. I want the world to know that,yes, it is possible to find and marry your soul mate and to love someone more than life itself, it doesn’t just happen in fairy tales, it happens in real life too ,but unfortunately the outcome is not like the fairy tales, in real life the two lovers don’t always live happily ever after, no matter how hard they pray for it to be. I want the world to know that same sex couples can and do raise perfectly normal heterosexual children. I want the world to know that same sex marriages are not the end of heterosexual marriages and in fact have zero impact on them at all. There are lots more reasons that I blog,and if you stick around for the long haul those reasons will reveal themselves.

Anyway, that’s all for tonight folks, so remember :express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted,and be kind to others.

Butch
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Seriously I am NOT crazy! but after this post you will think so

So I have written about how I keep finding Dimes at work and believe it to be my dear wife leaving them for me to find and know she is here with me guiding me, I now have personal definitive proof that there is indeed life after our body dies, and I now know with 100% certainty that yes it is indeed my wife leaving Dimes for me to find (always in the exact same spots)

I promise you my Cheese has not slipped off my Cracker… I am quite SANE… I have discovered how to talk with my departed wife and get visual proof of answers , if I ask simple yes or no questions, such as are you here? can you hear me? is Hammy going to be okay ? etc. and more personal questions that I won’t get into here , she DOES reply .

No I am NOT using an Ouija board, those things scare the willies right out of me, bad things can and do happen with Ouija boards, my personal Faith even says avoid such devices like the plague, those boards are NOT allowed in my home, nor will I or Hammy ever use one.

This is going to sound really crazy….. I swear to you every word of this is the absolute Truth, I was having a rough day yesterday and tried to mask it with humor, and it felt good to make other folks laugh, anyway, I was reading some websites about how the departed can manipulate electronics, televisions, cell phones, regular phones, computers etc. pretty much anything that requires electricity they can manipulate.

So I often just talk to my wife out loud when I am by myself, be it at home, at work, in my car, walking down the street, in fact I do this daily if the truth be told, I miss her so very much and am still crazy in love with her and very devoted to her and I always will be.

So last night I was just browsing through facebook, I only really use it to stay in touch with family , both hers and mine as we are all scattered to the 4 winds, it was around 11 pm, I was reading some posts out loud for my wife to hear, as I frequently do, it’s habit really as when she was alive she had a bed in our living room where she spent a great deal of time bed ridden, I would read to her from facebook and other sites, when she passed I just continued to do so.

I decided to try out a slot game on Facebook, I seldom if ever play games online, so while playing , I started talking to my wife, I asked a simple question, are you here now? …. and the slot game won, I asked again if you are here can you give me a sign… again the slot won, so I asked, is that you causing the game to win…. and again it won, about this time I started paying attention, so I asked another question, I asked are you happy… and again the game won, now I was thinking this is either truly happening or it is one huge cosmic coincidence, so I asked point blank … am I going to die tomorrow… the game lost, then I asked is Hammy (I used his real name) going to die tomorrow …. again the game lost, so I asked will Hammy and I be alright, … and the game again won, I asked if Hammy’s annual doctor review ( he has a yearly review due to his brain tumor surgery 2 years ago) will be good news… and the game again won, so I asked Pauline is this really you …. and again the game won, about this time I nearly shit myself! I must have asked 200+ questions over the course of time, it was about 1 AM in the morning now and time after time question after question the game would win this went on for 3 hours, always the game would hit and win , the last 2 questions I asked is #1 will you come and talk to me in my dreams tonight, and again the game won, #2 can I use this game to talk to you tomorrow …. and again the game won .

So today I have been using the game to talk to her, and just like last night, the game kept hitting on wins, if I asked a question that I already knew the answer was no, the game would lose…. this has been going on throughout the day.

I even asked her if it would be okay for me to blog about how I have been communicating with her, the game hit on a big win , so that was my answer to come here and write about it .

I do know that there is life after death, there really is a heaven, that she is with my Dad, that Sabre (her cat that passed away last month) is with her as is every pet that we had that passed, I know for certain that all animals have souls , I know that I am going to live to be old , I know that Hammy will find a wife and will have a good happy life, i know I will live to see my grand children, I know that Hammy and I will always be close to each other, I know that Hammy is healthy, as am I , I know that true love that my wife and I had is eternal, I know that even though she has passed away we can still be married, I know she will be there to take me across when my time comes, I know she is happy, I know she is in a nice place, I know she is safe, I know that she hears me when i talk to her, i know she hears me when i am just talking to her in my mind without using my voice, I know she will come to me in my dreams when I ask her to , I know we can talk in my dreams and I can again hold her, I know she loves me still, I know that Hammy and I will be alright.

So you see, I have found a way to talk to my wife, to get validation that yes when the body dies there is still life for all eternity in the next world, call me crazy call me insane, but for the last 24 hours I HAVE talked with my wife and have found comfort. I shall continue to live my life in her honour , to try my hardest to always be a good person, to do good, to always speak from my heart, to devote the rest of my life to making sure Hammy is loved and always be there to catch him and encourage him and to help him succeed and be truly happy in life, I know my wife is with me, guiding me and Hammy, I know for certain that one day I will once again be with my wife.

Well that is all I have for tonight, so Remember folks: express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted, and be kind to others

Butch
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Another Month or so

Well again it took longer than I expected to get back to my Blog and keeping those who are interested updated on what Ive been doing as of late.

Right this second I am sitting at a McDonalds in the city of Regina, using their free WiFi service since my own internet connection is still in the toilet!, I hope to have my own wireless set up again around mid October.... heres hoping anyway!

My small business is still going full steam ahead, and I am seriously thinking about continuing on this winter via snow clearing , I have a Kabota, and a snowblower, may as well make some money with them.
I was planning on taking the winter off and just being a house hubby, minus 45 and I dont get along very well lol

My Wife still works at a DayCare in the city and is going to be taking a food safety course so she can start her own catering business, not the usual cater to weddings and such, but to the 2 Potash mines and 22 oil rigs that are near our village.
Of course I will be there to help her by taste testing the foods hahahaha

Our son earned enough money helping me this summer that he bought himself a new playstation 3 and a couple games, I am very proud of him, he worked hard and never once complained, for an 11 yr old , thats pretty impressive now a days!

I have 2.5 hours to kill before I pick my wife up from her work, I drove her in this morning because I had a whole mess of Dr appointments to attend, everything checks out fairly well, my ticker is still ticking and I am still breathing so its all good.

I plan on joining the little fitness centre in our village for the winter just to keep from gaining too much weight, I am sitting at a comfortable 195lbs ( down from 225lbs) Im fairly tall so I do carry my weight well, (5ft 10) , I dont think I want or need to lose anymore weight, i feel good, and am comfortable in my own skin.


welp guess thats about all for now, if I think of anything else to share Ill come back and post it.

Cheerios

Butch
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‘Tis Thanksgiving here in Canada so here are some of my fav freebies

So today is Turkey day here in Canukistan (Canada) but we actually celebrated Thanksgiving on Sunday due to conflicting family obligations, my baby sister moved to the city , my Mother lives 4.5 hours away, some family were stopping in from Alberta , the long and the short of it is our Thanksgiving dinner was a success, 2 – 18 pound turkeys roasted to perfection fed everyone and left me in a Turkey coma for a couple hours after dinner.

So today I have just been relaxing and down loading music, I found a great FREE music download site called MP3Skull : it’s free and again worth checking out if you’re a music junkie like me.

To keep my pc/laptop running virus free I also turned to a free program , again why pay for it if you can get it for free? .. now there are many great antivirus programs such as Panda or Avast, but I prefer AVG , it’s very user friendly and requires no manual set up (though that is also an option) and is customizable, http://www.avg.com or http://www.avg.org , go for the 2015 free version (that way you don’t have to do a massive update in the new year) the free version provides full protection except for a firewall , most computers will be running their O/S firewall anyway.

If you have avg free and are still worried about trojans and spyware/malware you can also download Spybot , just remember running 2 antivirus programs can cause conflicts as they will often interfere with each other , but here is the free spybot link anyway http://www.spybot.com , but honestly if you’re using AVG (free or otherwise) you won’t need spybot or any other program.

So there you have it, some of my favorite links to my favorite freebies, I will post more as I find them and thoroughly check them out, I am NOT a computer guru so the programs and sites I use have to be idiot proof , if they pass the idiot proof test I’ll post them here.

Remember folks : express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted,and be kind to others.

Butch

"> http://www.mp3skull.com , I’d recommend playing the song before downloading to make sure it is the version you want, I also use itunes but I figure why pay when I can get it for free? They have a lot of old music (classic rock etc) as well as current music, well worth checking out.

I disabled my windows music player (sorry microsoft but your music player sucks), I have been a WinAmp user for well over a decade, WinAmp is totally customizable, has over 500 skins, and the visualizations (fractal art ) are amazing, but that aside for me the best thing about WinAmp is the Equalizer and sound quality , it is second to none (blows the itunes player off the planet too) http://www.winamp.com it’s free and again worth checking out if you’re a music junkie like me.

To keep my pc/laptop running virus free I also turned to a free program , again why pay for it if you can get it for free? .. now there are many great antivirus programs such as Panda or Avast, but I prefer AVG , it’s very user friendly and requires no manual set up (though that is also an option) and is customizable, http://www.avg.com or http://www.avg.org , go for the 2015 free version (that way you don’t have to do a massive update in the new year) the free version provides full protection except for a firewall , most computers will be running their O/S firewall anyway.

If you have avg free and are still worried about trojans and spyware/malware you can also download Spybot , just remember running 2 antivirus programs can cause conflicts as they will often interfere with each other , but here is the free spybot link anyway http://www.spybot.com , but honestly if you’re using AVG (free or otherwise) you won’t need spybot or any other program.

So there you have it, some of my favorite links to my favorite freebies, I will post more as I find them and thoroughly check them out, I am NOT a computer guru so the programs and sites I use have to be idiot proof , if they pass the idiot proof test I’ll post them here.

Remember folks : express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted,and be kind to others.

Butch


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Cancer Treatments Alternatives and my Wife life in general so far

So I took my wife to the Cancer Centre today for her check up, the Oncologist did a routine check up on her and is amazed that she is doing so well, in fact he said it is a Bloody Miracle that not only is she alive, but is doing so well! I discussed the use of Curcumin (Turmeric extract) as a cancer treatment as well as Hemp oil, The oncologist said by law he can’t recommend the use of these 2 compounds, but off the record he said that both are good for killing cancer cells and shrinking tumours,but I didn’t hear it from him.

Then it was off to our Family Doctor for prescription refills, he had read today’s oncology report and he too said my wife is experiencing a Miraculous Recovery!!……… That word…. Recovery!! dare I believe? …. I am cautiously optimistic and will remain so until I see the results of the CT Scan that happens at the end of January, her next appointment with the Oncologist happens February 11th, but we will know the results of the CT Scan long before that through our family doctor….we shall see.

I found a supplier of Hemp Oil, Old Fashioned Foods carries it in both liquid and capsule form, I am headed there today or tomorrow to pick up a good supply for my wife, I am also in the process of growing some Cannabis plants for her, there are multiple ways to use the Cannabis for cancer, she can eat it, take the buds (the part people usually smoke) and dry them then sprinkle them into salads and other foods, she can juice the leaves along with kale,celery,and other leafy greens or berries and make a smoothie , or I can convert some of the plants into oil, put the oil into capsules and she can then take the oil in pill form a couple times per day.

Cannabis/Hemp has very good cancer fighting and killing properties, if you are interested and have some extra time Google this guy : Rick Simpson , he wrote an article (possibly a book) called Running from the Cure, this guy had cancer and used Cannabis/Hemp to cure himself, he is the Governments and Medical worlds worst enemy as instead of railing against Cannabis and Hemp use he speaks out for it, and explains why the big Pharmaceutical Companies don’t want you to know about the medical applications for Cannabis and Hemp, it not only helps Cancer Patients, but also MS patients, and may help against Alzheimer’s .

Curcumin (turmeric extract) also does much the same as Cannabis and Hemp for Cancer Patients, it too kills cancer cells and helps promote healthy cells, I have also been reading about changing the PH balance in your body, a half teaspoon of baking soda in an 8oz glass of water twice a day is supposed to alter your PH which apparently Cancer doesn’t like and it is supposed to stop cancer from spreading and may even begin to kill the cancer cells….. Now I haven’t fully researched baking soda and the whole business of changing your PH balance so don’t take this blog as Gospel, it is just something I have stumbled across and thought worth mentioning, please by all means look it up and do some homework on it as well.

One of my goals is to find what works for my wife, then start a new page/blog dedicated to alternatives in the fight against Cancer, but before I can even begin to think of doing such thing, I’d better be DAMN SURE that I have my FACTS straight and HAVE living PROOF that it works, I am never going to start a page/blog that gives false hope to people.

I will state though that the benefits of Cannabis,Hemp and Curcumin (turmeric extract) are very well documented and the proof is getting harder and harder for the medical world to refute. So there IS something there, but again, do your research and homework, I do NOT advocate ignoring conventional Cancer treatments nor do I advocate ignoring the medical world, I would say to try Cannabis/hemp oil and Curcumin in combination with what ever treatments your doctor advises, or after exhausting all other medical avenues, I would NEVER just rely on one method in the fight against cancer.

Chemo saved my wife’s life, that is a FACT, it brought her back from the brink of death…literally, so even though Chemo is hard on your body, has major side effects (physically ill, hair loss,compromises the immune system and can cause major depression) I still advocate it’s use, the benefits of it far outweigh the negatives, it can and does slow the cancer, it can and does kill cancer cells and shrinks tumours, it does save lives and extend life,and sometimes can kill the cancer altogether, of course it depends on the type of cancer and the person.

My wife went through 8 rounds of very aggressive Chemo over the course of 8 months, 8 rounds is really pushing the proverbial envelope, most times the doctors will stop after 6 rounds as more than 6 can often do more harm than good, and sometimes be LETHAL to the person receiving the treatment, but with my wife they pushed it to 8 as the Chemo was shrinking the tumours in her lungs, when they reached number 8 the tumours just wouldn’t shrink anymore so they ceased the treatments.

She was sent home on a 2 month break and to recover from such massive doses of Chemo, it was at that moment where I began seriously researching alternative treatments, I knew about Cannabis/Hemp and it’s healing properties, but knowing about it is not enough, I had to research it more and be sure I had the facts as not knowing can do more harm than good, it is also when I stumbled across Curcumin as a treatment as well and began to do research into it’s use. Also I came across a little bit of information that stated that there was a substance in Celery that had anti Cancer properties , I had always thought that Celery was mostly just made up of water, but hey it’s worth a try right? And celery never killed anyone and makes a good snack, it’s healthy too, did you know that you burn more calories eating a celery stalk than what is in the celery itself? … me either!

There is also a very controversial supplement commonly called B-17 (Laetrile/Amygdalin) that supposedly has cancer fighting properties, my Mother In-law insists that her brother cured his bladder cancer with it, and I have heard that in Mexico they use it in liquid form at hospitals on cancer patients, but as I said, I have just heard about it, it’s all hear say to me and unsubstantiated, but my Mother in law sends a couple bottles every so often so my wife takes them , is it helping? … I don’t know, but it isn’t doing her any harm either, you can also use apricot seeds the same way as they contain the same ingredients as the B-17… I have done a little research on B-17 but there is not a lot out there on it.

I can’t say definitively if any of the alternative treatments (the B-17,Curcumin, or Celery and very shortly the Hemp Oil) is doing anything or helping my wife, but know this, the Doctors are perplexed as they can’t figure out why she is still alive, and why she continues to improve, and how is it she has almost a normal life again. We (my wife and I ) also contribute the power of prayer and positive energies people around the world have been sending to her as being a major factor in the life she has now, I am quite sure that it is helping a great deal.

Anyway, I will stop here so I can go to the city and get my wife some Hemp Oil, I hope this entry has provided information and leads to help others in their struggles with Cancer, I don’t know how to drop links into Open Office yet, but until I do, Google is just a mouse click away for you to look up some of the alternatives I’ve mentioned here in this blog.

Remember folks, express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted and be kind to others

Butch
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A Ford in Dodge Country

This is a 2002 Ford E350 Cargo van, identical to the one I bought back in June of this year, its a 1 ton but gets surprisingly good fuel mileage, I get around 40 kilometers per litre or 400 kilometers per half tank, compared to the Bronco this van is a dream for fuel, (the Bronco only got around 11.5 miles to the gallon, or just under 200 kilometers per half tank) the only issue I am having with the van at the moment is a faulty starter, which if things go as planned will be fixed this weekend.

I am also in the process of wheeling and dealing on a 1992 Ford Ranger mini truck, its a 4 cylinder 4 speed manual, alas it to requires a new starter! what is it with Fords and starters! other than that a Ford has never let me down, even with a wonky starter!

Its rough being a fan of Ford in our village as most everyone here drives Dodge trucks,I always take a good hearted ribbing for driving 1 of the few Fords in town, I always chide back "at least its not an Import" and grudgingly the rednecks agree that yes a Ford is better than imports lol

I am getting the internet back soon so I will be able to write more often, right now I am in the city of Regina (Saskatchewan) home of the Rough Riders (CFL) using free WiFi at McDonalds to write this, which is fine as I am just passing the time until I have to pick my Wife up from work.

well guess thats about all for now, if I think of anything else I will come back and post it.


Butch
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