17th anniversary wow its been a long while!

Well its getting to be that time of year again, anniversary time! This February 14th will mark my wifes and Is 17th year anniversary! or as I jokingly tell my friends, Im coming up on 17 years into a life sentence!! LOL (relax its a joke. I truly love my wife)

The thing is, it doesnt seem like 17 years, seems just like yesterday that I met and fell instantly in love, actually if you want to get into the timeline of love at first sight, then a whole lot more years are involved because I first saw her when she was just 15 years old, I still remember that day, she lived on the outskirts of Calgary, Alberta with her parents, she was gardening in the flower bed just off to the left of her houses doorway, she didnt see me. I was 23 at the time, parked at the end of her driveway with a friend, the road was a dead end except for the driveway, we were parked there talking about our plans for the future, my friend met a woman online who lived in Vancouver and was telling me all about her and her plans to go there to meet her in person, I kept turning my attention to the young lady gardening, her back was to me, but I was drawn to her for reasons I still cant explain, my friend in the car with me asked me what it was I saw myself doing in the future, at that very moment the girl who was gardening stood up and turned to look at who was parked at the end of her drive, let me tell you that then and there my heart skipped a beat, I got tears in my eyes and couldnt tear my eyes off her, without thought or reason I blurted out " Im going to marry that girl right there, thats what I am gonna do"! my friend in the car was surprised then laughed at my statement, the girl in the flower garden shrugged and walked into the house (of course she didnt hear me, nor do I think she really saw me)

Hell even I was shocked at what I had just said!, anyway my friend went to Vancouver and I stayed in Calgary, 7 years later I ran an ad in the local newspaper wanting a room mate, male or female, didnt care as long as they worked cleaned up their messes and didnt steal my shit, I got a knock on the door, I opened it and nearly passed out... there she was! there stood the girl who I only saw once before, and guessed her to be 15 at the time, there she was at the age of 22 standing in my living room asking if the room was still for rent!! I was struck dumb and could not stop stuttering, the most beautiful woman on the planet, the one I swore I would marry answered my ad!

You bet your ass I rented the room to her, I was crazy in love, not just the kind of love you get in your heart or mind but that rare love that makes your soul scream thats your soul mate kinda love!

At this point youd think I was a smooth operator but youd be dead wrong, I was so shy and scared to say or do the wrong thing around her that I really struggled to even maintain a friendship with her, it was she who put the moves on me, you would think dirty dancing and grinding on my leg would be a hint that maybe it was okay to put a move or two on her....but nope, as I said I was struck dumb, I knew she was my soul mate but had no idea of how to go about sealing the deal, my groove thing got up and left and left me stranded, I didnt even know her sexuality... she cured me of my stupidity right quick when she grabbed me and planted a big deep kiss right smack on my lips and whispered I feel the same way.... OMG!! my heart damn near stopped, my ears were pounding with the sound of blood roaring through my veins, I just cried non stop as I kissed her back and held her tight, in her arms I felt complete for the first time in my life.

we got married a year later, February 14 1997, we used a JP and skipped the church, her parents absolutely hated me, I corrupted their daughter, (didnt like the fact she married same sex) my family? couldnt give a shit as long as I was happy, my family are scattered across Canada so none were present either, was just her and I and a few friends and a JP.

Ill get into just how exactly our son was born in a later post, so fast forward 17 years and here we are, and I will tell you not a day goes by that I dont thank God for letting me find and be with my soul mate, not a day goes by that I dont wake up and fall in love with her all over again,not a day goes by do I not say thank you to her for being herself, for loving me, for trusting me with her heart, above all not a day goes by that I would dare take her for granted, I am well aware of the fact that she is absolutely beautiful, not just physically but spiritually and emotionally as well, I am aware that she could have almost anyone be they male or female or somewhere inbetween that she wanted, and out of the 7 billion possible mates on this planet, she chose me!! she CHOSE ME!! I am so very grateful and humbled by that fact. Not a day has gone by nor will go by that I dont profess my love for her both to her and the world and to God.

Thats all I have to say for now

Butch

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A typical day in the Life of Butch …

I speak often with great fondness about the little village I live in , I talk about how peaceful it is, how friendly and supportive it is, a great place to live…and it’s all that and oh so much more, it’s like a little slice of a Utopian oasis hidden out in the middle of nowhere Saskatchewan, it is *My* Utopia , it’s not for everyone, and that fact comes painfully clear come spring… see what I didn’t say about my village is , every spring we are up to our asses in mud…. there is only 1 paved road here, Mainstreet , all other streets and driveways are made of clay base and gravel … if I had to describe this place in 1 sentence to a visitor in spring this is what I’d say…. we have a church,school, arena,general store, bar/hotel…and we have Mud… Lord do we ever have Mud!! … that about sums up my village.

Now every spring my backyard floods , I am talking you can hop in my canoe and paddle around the yard flood (seriously ) so I was up at 7:30 am this morning, in my pajamas and rubbers (rain boots for those that don’t speak Canadian) standing in 2 feet of water setting up both water pumps (I borrowed a second pump from my neighbour) in hindsight perhaps I should have had a couple cups of coffee to wake up and clear my brain before setting up the pumps… Because…. Like a dumb ass that I can be , the pumps are electric , so I am standing in 2 feet of water with 2 plugged in and very live extension cords squeezed between my thighs as I primed the pumps , holding a metal 2 gallon pail.

I couldn’t put the power cords down in the water or …. well I would have killed every frog within a 150 foot radius and taken myself out in the process , remember I’d only been awake for about 10 minutes, no coffee and not thinking, so what to do, the pumps are now running , I fill the bucket with water so it won’t float away and gingerly balance the power cords on it and wade back to the house …. ( I’m not the sharpest tack in the box when I first wake up) I later went out and replaced the bucket with a couple sawhorses and tacked a nail on either side of the power cords so they don’t slip off into the water.

I cleaned up had coffee and Hammy and I went to church, after church I got talking with a friend who invited Hammy and I to go spend some time with him and his family at his cabin in Manitou Beach! … aside from a mini summer vacation (which Hammy and I need) and spending time with a good friend, Manitou Beach is one of only 3 salt water lakes on earth… of course everyone knows of the big one …The Dead Sea ( bet you didn’t know it is not a sea at all, it is a lake) … the second is in Czechoslovakia, and the third is right here in Saskatchewan Canada (Manitou lake) it’s the only saltwater lake in North America , so that’s really awesomely cool!

After church it was back home, feed the kidlet, do the dishes, get the laundry started and then out to change the tires on the Mighty Cavalier , I finally got that lug nut off, actually my neighbour came over with a couple tools and we broke the stupid aluminum cap off the actual lug nut ( why they put those on beats the hell out of me) once we got that cap off ( it was rounded so the tire iron couldn’t get a grip on it) , with a couple curse words and some heavy prying with the tire iron we got the lug nut off, after that escapade my neighbour went home and I jacked up the car and changed the dang tire ( only took a month to get it done) , about that time my dang back went out ( I’m getting old) I quickly decided that the other tire could wait til tomorrow , I’ve gone 1 month without a vehicle, 1 more day won’t kill me.

then it was in to make supper for the kidlet ( with a back that is killing me slowly) , shower and now I’m back in my pajamas just relaxing.

This is a typical day for me, toss in work and my life couldn’t get anymore exciting lol , it’s country living, time means nothing out here, things get done on their own good time, life is slow and quiet here, not fast paced and noisy like the cities, where you gonna go out here? north field or south field? for a change of pace I take the dog for a walk down the grid roads (gravel roads) we go a couple miles then turn around and wander home again, to me this is about as close to Heaven as I can get while living.

Well that’s all I got for tonight folks, so Remember:express your love often, never take tomorrow for granted, and be kind to others.

Butch
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Just a mid afternoon quickie

This is unusual for me to be posting in the middle of the day, however here I am and here I go…

So this morning I took my Wife into the city , to the Hospital to be exact, for her 8th round of Chemo, I think this is it, as in I think she is done with Chemo after this, however the last time I said that the Doc switched his mind and told her she would receive another couple rounds….. we shall see. … So now it is just me and the kidlet for the next 72 hours , being as he is in school and it’s raining buckets here, I am left stuck in the house being mauled by 4 evil kittens while their Mom looks on contentedly.

So my sister Bon Bon (just a nick name I gave her when we were kids) really came through for me yesterday, remember my post about me being a Bone Head? where I lost my temper and trashed my laptop by throwing it across the room??…yes I was pretty stupid. Anyway a friend of mine loaned me an older net book, it was slow as molasses in January but worked well enough for me to at least get around the interwebz and to be able to blog, So my wonderful baby sister has a friend that works at a home/furniture rental place that usually writes off any damaged goods that get returned, My sisters friend said she had a gateway laptop in perfect working order, but there was a couple small scratches on the screen, My sister told her that I would be interested in it and so it goes, I went and met my sisters friend at her work , told her who I was and that Bon Bon had sent me .

She showed me the laptop, it’s got a 500 gig hard drive, 6.6 gigs of memory(up gradable/expandable ),a gigahertz or what ever the processor speed is called, and has a Windows 8 o/s …. to put it in layman’s terms….the Damn thing is Blazing fast! it downloads crap so fast I can’t even grab a coffee between downloads, I run it on a Bell Mobility wireless turbo stick , which is also blazing fast , I am impressed! the best part is , I only paid 80 Bucks for it!!! (yes you read that right, I said 80 Bucks!! )it is bought and paid for nothing owing yada yada yada.

It has a thousand programs that I have no clue what they do or are for, so I have been clicking on one here and there just to check it out, 99% I’ll probably never use, but eh they are there just the same, the first thing I did was go in and turn off all the apps, I don’t like apps or programs that collect info and share with God knows who so I turn ‘em off.

I’m no computer geek (or else I’d know what each program did), I am just a self taught computer user who tinkers with the control panels until I achieve the desired results. I’ve been tinkering since the IBM 286 first came out (way back when a 960 baud dial up modem was considered blazing fast lol ) before the interwebz when all there was to connect with others were BBS boards. ….yep we’ve come a long long way since then! my first computer had a whopping 40 megabit hard drive and around 4 megs of memory…. that was a Monster Computer back then, considered one of the best lol

Anyway I have a new laptop, and no I am not gonna get stupid and destroy this one, but with the new laptop comes a couple little annoyances, such as I lost all my pictures, so I will be spending some time off line uploading a couple here and there from my phone and from the camera , some I will just pull off my wife’s face book page and should I need a couple of my kidlet, I’ll raid his face book too lol.

Anyway that’s it for now, I may write about an adventure or two on the rails tonight, we shall see.

Remember folks, express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted,and be kind to others

Butch
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A story about a Twitter joke gone very wrong …

Okay so this is a true story involving a now ex twitter follower of mine ( she absolutely wants to see me dead now… beyond dead, maybe twice dead!!) and myself…

Now I have a strange sense of humour, and up until last year, I didn’t think posting silly jokes and pranks on twitter would amount to anything, I mean who am I? nobody that’s who, I am not a celebrity, I am not famous, I am not an online force of any sorts, and I don’t have any cult followings like some folks on Twitter , no I am none of that, I am just another screen name on social media… nothing more…. oh but apparently I do have 1 teensy special ability, it’s my super power…. and that ability is… I can get you arrested and investigated for Murder…. but my ability and superpower depends GREATLY on you the Twitter follower, or Reader and your actions….

So here’s the story …. Now about a year ago I posted a simple joke on Twitter, and I assumed no one would actually DO IT !! … but alas one of my followers did actually carry out the joke… this is the Joke : Text : Okay it’s done, I hid the Body, Now what? to a completely random number and freak someone out.

Welllll a Twitter follower of mine in Saskatoon… actually carried out that joke and she sent it to a random stranger…. who as it turned out was an elderly gentleman in another town , to say that the prank text freaked him out is a big understatement!! … The Gentleman who is a concerned citizen promptly calls the RCMP and shows them the text… now the Mounties.. thinking they have a Murder on their hands, and by the sounds of the text, it may be a hit from some organized crime …. have no fear Dudley Do Right is on the Case!! and they go public with the story of a possible murder , if anyone knows anything they should assist the investigation by calling crime stoppers …. and they begin to pour resources into finding the unknown murder the body and the hitman involved so they can nail the crime organization responsible…. and all this is splashed across the local news… and camera focuses on the old gentleman who recounts his tale of terror at receiving this text message….

It took the Mighty RC’s about a week to trace the number back to a woman in Saskatoon …. and yep they arrested her ass.. and were gonna throw the book at her and charge her with Murder …. she was a 40 something year old soccer mom with a couple kids a minivan and absolutely no criminal record, not even a speeding ticket … her husband just happened to be away working… the ever diligent Fuzz patrol… called his employer to see if he was indeed still alive and at work as his wife claimed, or if she whacked him then hid his body !! needless to say her husband showed up at the cop shop in a quick hurry !

She repeatedly told the police it was a joke that was posted on twitter, she thought it was funny and just did it!needless to say @ButchCountry went dead silent for about a month…. and thankfully since I use a wireless internet Turbo stick… my IP address registers to a cell tower in Edmonton Alberta ( not sure why.. but it does , I am not an Alberta Resident) … I went silent online…. and waited for the RCMP to find me and give me the what for and escort me to the local detachment in the city. ( they never did find out who ButchCountry is , nor were they able to locate said prankster) Thank GOD!!

The RC’s raked that poor woman over the coals for 16 hours trying to get her to confess to a murder that never happened! .. all she had to say to the reporter who dogged her when the police released her was that it was a prank she read on twitter and thought it would be funny to do… she also said the person who posted the prank was an @sshole and that she will never do anything like this again.

So now I don’t post pranks and jokes on Twitter… as I learned even a nobody like me can on occasion through my superpowers… make some people think that a prank is a good one worthy of carrying out! … I never in a million years thought anyone would actually do it!

my twitter feed exploded and I went from just 400 followers to over 1000 in 1 week lol ,I keep things pretty low key on twitter , it’s a lesson learned all the way around … and yes I have thought of many other diabolical pranks that I could be posting on twitter since… and it takes me a great deal of self control NOT to post them, but i don’t want to see anyone else actually pay attention and actually pull one of my stupid pranks off… as it turns out the authorities really do not have a good sense of humour!

So that’s the story about how I learned the power of the interwebs and to mind what I say online as there are people out there crazy enough to actually do what I jokingly suggest might be funny!!

So that’s all for now, Remember Folks: express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted,and be kind to others.

Butch
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My Wife’s doing a bit better

Today has been a great day, Today my Wife was feeling good all day, she was able to eat 3 full meals and keep them down and the big one is… she was pain free for the first time in nearly 4 months! She was able to come to the city and use a scooter while our son “Hammy” and I purchased a new lawn mower.

Tonight we (my Wife and I) sat down and wrote out a living will, I will have it notarized Monday, it was a difficult task but had to be done, I now know and understand her wishes.

She is an emotional wreck despite having such a good day, it’s the emotional end that thwarts me, she gets herself so worked up and upset that nothing I say or do will calm her down, it is at this point she likes to try and start an argument, so she “has a reason” to be upset and can validate her derailed train of thought, only I won’t fight or argue with her no matter how many times she attempts to bait or goad me, I remain calm and patient as I know it’s the Cancer and her Fears talking, not her.

well that’s it for now, remember be kind to everyone and express your love often, never take tomorrow for granted.

Butch
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Simple Woodworking Projects for Kids A Very Simple Project Your Kids Will Love!

The Complete Guide of Simple Woodworking Projects for Kids

Using simple woodworking projects for kids are great way to show them all the things they can do with their hands. Now you may be wondering how old they should be to do a woodworking project?

As long as they can hold a piece of wood and a hammer, means they are old enough to do a simple project with you. But to really have their interest long enough on he project, the age of 5 years old and up is suitable.

Begin With a Small, Simple Woodworking Projects for Kids

Of course children cannot always grasp all the steps that need to be taken for a big project such as a picnic table or a porch swing. They will probably loose interest in the making if the whole thing takes too long. So for the first one, it is best to do a small projects that can be done fast. Do not have any idea what to make with your kids? Ask them! You will be surprised of what they will come up with!

===> This Simple Woodworking Projects for Kids - Its new, Big, inovative, saves time and it Works!  

Prepare the Material for the Project

This is good if you are working with younger children. Because it may be difficult to hold their interest for long periods of time, try to prepare to "woodwork shop" before they get in. Cut the wood boards to make the bird house, for example, and drill small holes where the nails are going to be to make it easier for them if they are going to do this part. They will enjoy painting the finished product, so have some latex paint and some brushes handy.

A Very Simple Project Your Kids Will Love

It is not always necessary to use simple woodworking projects for kids. The goal is to get them interested in woodworking, not to overwhelm them with it.

All Children loves shapes. A great project is to get a piece of plywood of about 24 inches square and to cut in small, different shapes, either square or triangles and make them fit together like a puzzle. Them make a tray with a small wooden border around it and put all the pieces flat in the tray to hold a puzzle.

Then have the kids paint something on the pieces, such as a house or an animal. You can also have them paint the back of the pieces all the same color and the bottom of the tray. Once the paint is dry, they can mix the pieces and try to redo the puzzle on the tray. Kids will enjoy this kind of project where they can say that they did it all by themselves. Look Ideas for Simple Woodworking Projects for Kids!

Last Chapter for Simple Woodworking Projects for Kids

This is just a simple projects you can do with your kids that only takes a little creativity. If you are thinking about doing bigger projects, such as a play house or a kids picnic table, or more complicated projects for older kids, you need to use some simple woodworking projects for kids. To find the right plans and everything you need for woodworking projects, visit: Simple Woodworking Projects for Kids Website!

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A letter to my Wife 2

Hello Darling, it’s just me again, I want you to know that I think of you all the time and miss you like crazy, I’ve found some comfort in knowing you didn’t suffer when you went to God, I am also comforted knowing the last memory of you that our son has is of you laughing and happy.

God I miss you so much, Things are coming together perfectly for your service Darling, it shall be beautiful, the little church is a perfect setting, though small we will fit everyone in don’t you worry.

I think your entire Family is coming down, I know mine is too, I am sure you will be happy and pleased, shoot I can just hear you now saying “ I don’t like the attention, I wish there weren’t so many people” , but Darling please understand , all the people loved you and they never had the chance to say good bye, they NEED this service to find closure in their lives.

I was given a big photo of you yesterday that I’d never seen before, it was taken at your Brothers wedding, Darling you looked Beautiful, I think it is a Grand picture and I will have it framed and hung on my wall.

Has God given you your Angel wings yet? Most likely he has, if I know you , you are probably up there helping look after all the children in Heaven, I want you to know that I have felt your presence here with me more than a few times, I know it was you who motivated me to dig out that television for Hammy and take it to his room and hook up his video machine to it.

I also know it was you who motivated me to clean and uncluttered the house, I hope you don’t mind how I have been doing that? I know this was your home and it shall always be, Darling there are a few things I need you to know, I can not bring myself to sleep in our bed, I just can’t do it so I’ve been sleeping on the couch instead, it’s okay though it is comfortable to me.

I have to go upstairs sooner or later and start going through all your clothes and get them ready for donation just as you asked, forgive me Darling, I just can not bring myself to do that right yet, please allow me more time, I will get it done, I promise.

I also have to clean out the storage room, wow what a mess! I can hardly get through the door, I could use a hand in there, I need to know what I can get rid of and what must be kept, so if you could come around again sometime and guide me that would be great.

Things are different now that you are not here, the house just doesn’t quite feel like a home anymore, it’s still warm and inviting, but it is missing your touch and personality, it’s lonely here, even with Hammy, it feels empty.

Hammy is doing okay, he is still in denial I think, the other day he said he missed you very much, I do as well Darling. Hammy has only missed 3 days of school, I felt it would be good for him to go but I don’t force him, shoot you know him , he loves school anyway, He is going skiing the Friday before your service, it will do him a world of good not to have to think about all this for a day, will you guide him and protect him from getting hurt that day?

Yesterday my sister came out to the village and took us to the city, I picked up some more supplies, it feels very odd shopping without you, you know me into the store and out as quickly as possible, Hammy didn’t even complain about shopping as he usually does, perhaps it was because he knew there was food coming at the end of the shopping.

We had a good visit when we got back home…home , now there’s a word that feels strange now that you’re not here, my sister took a bunch of photos I had of you and is going to scan them and send them to your sister, I will have those photos back by Wednesday.

Darling , I really don’t want to say this, but I am pretty sure your sister is both mentally and emotionally unstable, again she is mad at me, I just can not say or do anything with out hurting her or making her angry, I am trying Darling, I am trying very hard not to upset her, I won’t really say much to her at the service but I will give her a big hug. It is said sometimes silence speaks volumes, so I shall remain silent around her, I just want the service to be perfect and to honour you, not be upsetting anyone.

Oh how I miss you Pauline, my heart aches from wanting to hold you just one more time, to hear your sweet voice, to feel your warm embrace, I would give anything to be able to hold you and tell you I love you just once more.

Every morning I kiss and hug hammy and tell him how much I love him, and again at night before he heads to bed, He looks and acts so much like you, it is almost like hugging you again, I always tell him how proud of him you were and how much you loved him, he doesn’t talk much about you yet, but give him some time Hon, he is grieving in his own way.

Our neighbours cleaned out our driveway again, this time they brought the snow blowers right up to the steps of the house, it was very kind of them, I am trading all that Boost and Ensure for a home made Lasagna and cookies with Brody’s Mom, she is so kind, she is the one who made the offer, and Cameron’s Mom paid for Hammy’s ski trip, that was very thoughtful and kind of her, and yes I got Hammy ski goggles yesterday.

I am learning to swallow my pride and accept help when it’s offered Darling, see even old dogs can change their ways! Pretty sure that has surprised a few folks, but I did realize that I do need help, just until I get used to being a single parent and find my own routine, there are a few things that I struggle with, driving alone is one of them, please understand that for 18 years I have always had you riding shot gun, now that seat sits empty and the drive to the city is lonely and seems longer, just give me time to adjust Darling, and guide my car straight and true this winter.

I am honouring you by rethinking my life, I am striving to become a kinder and gentler person, Butch 2.0 , I am finding an inner strength I never knew I had and that’s because of you Darling, you made me who I am today through your loving gentle ways, and I strive to make you proud, I always have tried and always will.

Well my Darling, I started writing to you early this morning, sadly I have to go now as Hammy woke up, I wish I didn’t have to go, I wish I could talk with you all day but again life calls me and I must answer, please know that you have made me a strong person and that everything down here will be alright, I wish I could walk with you in Heaven and tell you all this in person, but Darling, I know I can’t right now, please wait patiently for me, I will one day be at your side again.

Be happy my Darling, I shall talk with you again soon

All my Love and Devotion

Butch
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A letter to my Wife 4

My Darling, I dreamed of you last night, you were walking in a field, your long hair gently blowing in the breeze, you looked so happy and peaceful and perfect, I stood there at the edge of the field unable to move, not wanting to move, just watching you as you skipped and twirled and laughed, I wanted to call your name, I wanted to call out to you to say I am hear my Darling, I am here, but I had no voice, I watched you with the purest of love in my heart and tears in my eyes, I so desperately wanted to hold you in my arms just once more, just for a little while.

Today my heart aches for you, the memories of you cut my very soul, what should be happy memories that comfort only bring sorrow and heart ache, even on better days my Darling, my heart aches and though I smile, it is a hollow sad empty smile, you are always in my heart, my love for you will never fade, nor will my memories of you.

I stopped living the day you passed, I only exist now , I put on a smile and a happy demeanor around our son, sadly he does the same around me as well, we are both deeply wounded and scarred for life, life for us can never be the same, fleeting moments of happiness are quickly followed by sorrow for you’re not here to share the moment with us, we miss you so much.

It has been almost 3 months since you passed, it seems like just yesterday, the pain and sorrow is even greater now, it gets worse not better as time slowly passes, spring has come, your favorite time of the year, spring a time of new life and growth, for me it is a time of sorrow for you are not here to see the beauty that comes with the season, you’re not here to share the new life springing for around me, I see the world in shades of gray now, the world has lost it’s color, it is all black and white now, I see no beauty in the world anymore, only violence strife and sorrow, our little home we built together has lost it’s luster, I look at our home and see a tired old house that is like me, just trying to hang on and cling to memories of happier times, the house is really showing it’s age now, it shows the grief and sorrow inside.

I have a little poem on the wall next to the computer, I don’t know the author, but I read it every day and think of you my Darling, the last line is what I am living for , and for me that day can’t come soon enough.

A limb has fallen from the Family tree.

I keep hearing a voice that says,”Grieve not for me,

Remember the best times,the laughter the song.

The good life I lived while I was strong.

Continue my heritage,I’m counting on you.

Keep smiling and surely the sun will shine through.

My mind is at ease,my soul is at rest.

Remembering all,how I was truly blessed.

Continue traditions,no matter how small.

Go on with your life,don’t just stare at the wall.

I miss you all dearly,so keep up your chin.

Until the day comes we’re together again.”

My Darling , though I weep and grieve please know that Hammy and I are alright, we are hurt,but we will go on, we are looking after each other with a level of love and mutual understanding that most can’t understand, though my soul is in great pain, I will carry on and fulfill my promise to you, I will raise our son to be the man you have always hoped and dreamed he’d be.

Darling please watch over us and guide us down the right path, guide me in raising our son , guide him and keep him safe for he is all I have left in this world now, help me keep him safe.

Darling, again I must thank you with all my heart for loving me, for making me the happiest and luckiest person in the world, for 18 years of pure love and wedded bliss, for giving me a son and for allowing me to raise him as my own, thank you Darling for all the beautiful memories you helped me create, thank you for opening my eyes to the beauty in nature, thank you for helping me to learn and grow as a person, thank you for helping me find myself, thank you for teaching me how to love and be loved, and most importantly thank you for being you.

If I had it to do all over again , I wouldn’t change a single thing, Darling you were more than just my wife, you were my very best friend and my soul mate, and know that I love you then, now and for all eternity, I miss you my Darling, I miss you so very much.

I must go now Darling, I’d like to stay and talk to you for ever and I don’t want to go, but I must go for now , just know that I love you and I miss you .

Love always and forever

L (Butch)
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A MESSAGE FOR ALL HUMANITY Charlie Chaplin Video

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Simple carpentry projects

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“That Kid just ain’t right” or how I put my Dad into a low orbit

I would love to tell you that I started out life being the perfect daughter to my parents….. but that would be a lie, ummm put it this way, my Father was a liberal man who more or less raised me as if he had a son, by age 4 I knew how to take a carburetor off any vehicle (much to the dismay of my Father and a few of his friends), by age 5 I knew every swear word on the planet and if I swore my Dad and his friends would laugh and think it was funny.

My Mother on the other hand was a strict Catholic and tried to make me all prim and proper wear dresses and not swear , do little lady shit etc….. failing that she swore up and down that I was Satan incarnate because I fought with boys, when I was about 7 years old we lived in a small village in the deep south of Saskatchewan it was the early 1970’s and our house had electricity but no plumbing , if you needed a washroom you went out to the outhouse and did your business …… I told you that so you would understand this.

Now I was a Tomboy through and through, Mom didn’t give up on trying to make me wear a dress until I was around 14 (the day I nearly shot her), but that’s another story for a later time …we will call that one an “accident”

Anyway, most of my summers were spent helping Dad in his work shop, now one of Dad’s jobs was to go around the countryside blowing up beaver dams for the farmers and the fish and wildlife folks…. Dad always made his own explosives , depending on the location and size of the dam sometimes he used black powder charges and sometimes he used the old diesel fuel and fertilizer , he always whipped up his batches of explosives in his work shop,which I was always in helping (pestering) him, to keep me amused (out of his hair) he taught me how to make home made fire crackers , they were about equal to your standard cherry bomb, and so it was, I’d be out behind the house blowing shit up with my home made fire crackers, yanno things like my little sisters toys , plastic pails, infact a game of dare stemmed from the plastic pail, the dare was , throw a fire cracker in it then sit bare assed on the bucket and wait for the BANG, a few friends chickened out, but that boy Robbie was short and fat so when he sat on the bucket it kinda sucked itself to his arse ….. no worries though, the fire cracker broke the skin to plastic seal and with a scream he was free…. rolling on the ground holding his nuts….but hey he was free!! and he became the first and only kid to stay on the bucket to the bitter end, he was the school hero, even if he did walk funny for a few days.

By the way… my Mom whupped my ass for that, turns out I could have made it so Robbie couldn’t have kids when he grew up ….hmmmm who thinks of that during a game of dare?? christ that was the first time I ever seen a boys junk and I had no friggin clue what it did or was supposed to do I was just a kid! …. and yes to make it even I dropped my drawers and let him look at my junk fair is fair after all (and yes Mom whupped me for that too cuz apparently girls don’t show their privates to boys….ever. )

So anyways summer came and went and I grew another year older but was just as sweet and innocent as ever when this happened…………..

I had learned how to build a better bomb (by helping my Dad)….one fine day for what ever reason that eludes me now, I thought it would be fun to throw a fire cracker into the out house…. so I did…….. NOTHING!! I must have thrown about a half dozen down the hole with the same result… Nothing, nada, zip, not even a poof!!

Didn’t take me long to figure out the firecrackers wouldn’t go off because they were wet , hence the black powder was wet as was the fuse etc…. NOT one to give up (my Daddy taught me persistance pays off, he always said never give up if at first you don’t succeed try try again), I went around behind the out house and dug a small hole between the wall and the shit hole, I “accidently” took one of my Dad’s half sticks of black powder explosives ( about the strength of a quarter stick of dynamite) I tied a length of baling twine around it and pushed it through the little hole I made, I let it down into the hole slowly so the fuse wouldn’t come out or tangle and as soon as I heard it touch the goo in the shit hole ( a little plop) I tacked the twine so it wouldn’t sink, I had just lit the fuse when my Father came out of the house…….

I high tailed it for the hedges and hid in them , thinking Dad would be headed for his work shop and I knew he would be angry with me when that explosive of his went off, too late now though……..and Dad went into the outhouse and not his work shop!!

What happened next happened in slow motion, but was over in less than a second…… Dad was in the out house taking a crap…. the explosive was down in the hole……..the fuse was burning….after what seemed like forever there was a THUNDEROUS KABOOM !!! the out house launched a good 5 to 10 feet straight up into the air with my Dad in it, and when it landed a few feet away the door flew off it’s hinges some boards flew off the walls and the roof fell in a bit…….. my poor Father was still in the sitting position, pants around his ankles and a blank distant stare on his face…his cigarette was still in his mouth too…

By this time I was thinking I killed my Daddy , but he wobbled to his feet pulled up his pants and walked right past me without so much as a single word……Dad spent a couple hours just sitting at the kitchen table with Mom and at supper he didn’t say a word , he didn’t talk to anyone …. looking back in hind sight he was probably plotting my demise, Mom didn’t even speak to me, but her eyes shot daggers at me……. it took Dad a week before he came looking for my ass, and yes he whupped me really good!!

My Dad had a permanent nervous tick above his right eye that stayed with him right up until he passed away in 1999 , and everytime he heard a car backfire he’d nearly jump out of his skin….. I can’t imagine why!?!?

So that’s all for tonight, now you know that I was THAT kid and looking back..I do understand why I am the Black Sheep of the family, and that’s okay , I know my family loves me, they just don’t trust me lol

Remember folks: express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted,and be kind to others.

Butch
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Updates on our Son

Our 11 year old son Hammy was diagnosed with a brain tumor back in Novemeber 5th of 2012, fast forward to January 2013 and he is being admitted to the Regina General Hospital for brain surgery to remove the tumor, the bright side of this is that the tumor is NOT cancer, the down side is it is pressing up against his optic nerve causing occasional vision loss in his right eye and causing him to have seizures. January 7th is the surgery date.

Not much left to say at this point except thank you for the prayers and thoughts, we are praying daily that he comes through this and makes a speedy recovery.

guess thats it for now

Butch
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starting the new year with a cold snap

Ok seriously I want the rest of the world to know that Every Canadian West of the Manitoba border and East of the Quebec border view Ontario as Canadas biggest Joke! no lie, its where our corrupt Government wields its power, its where only in Canada could a crack smoking mayor stay in office (even if he is stripped of his powers)and head the biggest city in Canada..they should seriously change the name of Toronto to Ford City, why? because at least a third of the cities population actually plan to vote for him in their next election! proof that they just aint right in the head down there in Ontario land.

That aside, we in the central and western provinces laugh at Ontario due to their reactions over weather conditions, they really are a bunch of wimps!, they actually put out warnings to stay indoors when the temperatures reach minus 16 or below! That is laughable! here in Saskatchewan anything above minus 20 is considered a spring day! They cry at minus 20 while the rest of Canada deals with a balmy minus 35 as an average winter temperature... okay lets be fair here, most of the USA panics and freaks out at minus 20 and totally comes to a standstill when they get 2 or more inches of snow, In defense of the USA most of their states are normally above zero during winter, since that is normal for them, they often lack the tools, equipment,manpower, and finances to deal with sudden snow storms, I am pretty sure that the city of Regina Saskatchewan Canada has more snow plows and graders than can be found in the entire state of Texas, but still up here in Central Canada we do get a chuckle out of the so called "polar vortex" and its effects on the USA and Ontario.

For the record, while those down south were shocked and horrified at the minus 20 temperatures, up here in Saskatchewan Canada the temperature was minus 50 for nearly 2 weeks, yet we survived with absolutely no worries, our cars started (because we have block heaters and battery warmers on our cars) we didnt get into 20 car pile ups because we have winter tires (yall should invest in all season tires at the very least),we went outside in minus 50 to shovel our driveways and walkways and to get fresh air, our dogs went out to play and do their business, life went on as usual.

I mock Ontario but razz the USA, why? the last I checked Ontario was still part of Canada and being Canadian they should be ready to deal with anything the winters can throw at them,including freezing rain,frigid cold (and really minus 20, minus 25 isnt that cold ya bunch of wussies),point is they should be prepared simply because they live in Canada, but every winter they are as shocked as the state of Florida when the snow hits the ground!! Ontario is doomed to continue being shocked every winter because they really are not a hardy people, they have gone soft and I fear they may never toughen up.

I razz the USA in fun, because of the fact that most of it is made up of warm states that seldom get below zero, and a great many of them never get snow, so yes their shock and dismay is truly understandable, it actually is pretty serious when much of the states hits minus 16 or colder, as stated above I am aware that many states simply do not have the resources than their northern counterparts do, and why would they? they can go 20 30 years or more without snow or the needle dropping to the zero mark.
But heres a thought, the climate is changing, has been for the last decade or more, perhaps those in the south should start investing in winter clothing (even if they seldom use them,be prepared)maybe invest in 1 or 2 late model snow plows from other states , just buy 3 or 4 per year until you have a small army of plows and graders so when you do get hit with a winter storm you at least have something to clear the roads, it will happen again, maybe not next winter but it will happen again, be prepared, the climate is changing on a global scale rapidly.

There is a bright side to this year though, Spring officially begins March 20 , and that folks is only 70 days away!, of course up here in Saskatchewan Canada we will still be shovelling our driveways come March 20th, winter up here typically doesnt end until mid April, but this year I opted to become an "Optimist" and think positive.

okay folks it is getting late, stay warm, and remember 70 days until spring!

Butch


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Excuse me can I borrow your woman for a quick second and other rambles from the prairies

Soooo … the big city is gearing up for the big LGBTQ pride festival, City Hall is even getting in on the festivities by flying the Rainbow Flag right next to the Saskatchewan and Canadian Flag , I hope they have lots of fun and don’t have to deal with too many right wing religious loons .

That said, I was at walmart today grabbing some stuff for the house, I needed more tub and tile caulking , and a few other things, and decided to stop in the paint section and look at those paint cards… now I am a handy person with tools, can fix most anything and have a “thing” for power tools …. however… home decorator I am NOT!

While standing there holding paint sample cards …way out of my element ….completely baffled and lost not to mention confused as all get out… trying to make sense of the funny names of colours… pure periwinkle??… it’s BLUE! WTF is a periwinkle? sounds like some kind of foreign fruit! … “No you can’t have a glass of milk until you finish your periwinkles!! … yep put that right up there with brussel sprouts ! Ick factor 12!

Old Bronze?? … Bronze my @ss… that is not even a colour… it looks an awful lot like the stuff in the cat litter box after Peepster ate the chia pet and washed it down with the heavy cream she spilt all over the counter !!

Easter Egg??… it’s frickin PURPLE!! … I can just see myself standing at the counter asking for a can of periwinkle and Easter egg or flax seed (yellow) … like that is ever gonna happen!! … who the h3ll comes up with these backasswards names? … it HAS to be a FEMME thing!! … no self respecting Butch or manly man is going to ask anyone for a gallon of periwinkle at any point in time, for any reason …. it just ain’t gonna happen!

So I did what any person would do who was trying to save their dignity and self respect… I asked a complete stranger if I could borrow his wife for a quick second ! …. yeah I got a strange look outta him at first… so before he could tell me to go to h3ll or knock me out in isle 3 …. I quickly held up the paint cards and simply said periwinkle!!?? … he quickly realised I was in the same situation as he was …. stuck picking paint colours with absolutely no clue how to match coordinate or otherwise decorate , he must have felt real bad because he glanced around and saw that I was flying solo …. perhaps he was relieved since he would get a few moments break from his wife’s questions… what do you think dear? this would look nice there don’t you think/ etc… questions that married folks quickly learn to just say yes dear or if you think so dear … if they ever hope to have sex again.

So this wife ( her name was cynthia ) … helped me out… or rather she did all the decision making … now with 18 years experience I knew to put on my clueless cap …. I told her I was clueless ( and really … I am!!) and needed a Lady’s opinion on colours since they are so knowledgeable about such things and home decor , I briefly explained that I am recently widowed and am trying to spruce up the house, to use the colours my wife would have wanted… but gosh there is just so many different shades!! … I told her it is just myself and our 13 year old son now, so I needed something with a feminine touch , yet didn’t compromise the masculine side of life either… Ohhh she was all over that like white on rice …. I told her I needed purple for the bathroom… but not a dark bold purple, I needed a subtle purple or something close to it, I told her I had dark oak furnishings in there with a grey slate tile floor…. she chose the Easter Egg colour… a pale purple … so I marked that card .

next the kitchen… I told her there was tan coloured furnishings in there, lots of pine , and I needed a yellow, but not a bright yellow … I told her it had light grey vinyl tile there , she picked flaxseed … it’s a subtle yellow , so I marked that card , lastly the living room, I told her I wanted to stay somewhat neutral here, some sort of off white, and asked if there was such thing as a bluish white? … there was and she found it… Ming Dynasty white … masculine but not overbearing , very subtle… I marked that card, and thanked her profusely , and thanked her husband for loaning me her expertise in such matters.

Now when I go back to the store , I will be armed with my marked paint cards and will just point and say this one, this one, and that one… no way am I asking for easter eggs , flax seeds and ming dynasty!! I have my self respect and dignity to maintain !!

My Butch card is still intact as is my dignity and self respect , and thanks to me making that guys wife feel extra important , that guy stands a good chance of getting a lil’ sum sum tonight…. so I was just as helpful to him as his wife was to me , he should thank me ! lol

well that’s all for now, I’m off to try and explain periwinkle to Hammy , so Remember Folks:express your love often, never take tomorrow for granted, and be kind to others.

Butch
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It was a very Emotional Day today

I miss my Wife, I miss her so much it hurts, I sometimes come across on here as though I am well adjusted and moving forward and completely accepting my wife’s passing….. truth is I am not okay at all, I am very broken inside and I don’t know that I will ever actually recover from her passing, they say it get’s easier with time, I’m not sure I truly believe that, I know it’s only been 1 month and my emotions are still raw and in hyperdrive.

I have good days where I can function as though everything is alright and normal, I even manage a smile now and then, but when I am alone I cry, I cry hard , I cry from my very soul, Lord I miss my wife, I need her so badly, I really do not know how to function on my own without her, I’ve never been truly alone in my life! before her I had 3 other relationships starting at age 16, each relationship was long term, I’ve never truly been alone in life, I don’t know what to do?? what do I do? how do I live? how do I run our house, our property, take care of business, and raise a son on my own? how do I do all this? please some one TELL ME!!

my son is coming unglued, emotionally the loss of his Mother is beginning to really hit him and he is starting to crack, please God give me the strength and knowledge to help him!! my heart already shattered is being crushed watching my son weep and cry for his Momma , he wants her, he NEEDS her, he was always his Mother’s boy.

i go through the motions of life, I cook and clean , I look after our son, I make sure all his wants and needs are met, I pour all the love I have into him and let him know how proud of him I am. …. but that’s all they are, motions, I am not living, I just exist, and I do so because I have to be their for our son, I’ll tell you now I am biding my time, just existing, when Hammy is grown and has a family of his own and a wife to love, my time on this earth will come to an end.

Today, i bagged up all my wife’s clothes , 9 bags, ready for donation this coming Monday, doing this tore my soul up even more than it already was, it has to be done, it had to be done, I have to keep moving forward for Hammy’s sake, I have to move forward inch by inch for my own sake, as hard as that is for me to do.

Tonight I am going to attempt to sleep in our bed, for the first time in over 1 month, I didn’t wash the bedding or pillows, I can still smell her scent on them, I don’t know how well tonights going to go, but I have to try.

The bedroom door has been closed for the last month and a bit, since the day she had to go to the hospital, everything in there is exactly how she left it, except for her clothes which as I said i bagged and set aside for donation, I also made the bed, otherwise it’s the same as she left it, I left the door open today to get the stale air out and replenished with fresh air.

I’m in a very dark place right now and have been praying to God for strength and peace,I pray that I will learn to live again and not just exist, this is not a good feeling or place that I am in, I know this and i wonder how much more I must endure before God say’s I have had enough punishment, I must have really been an awful person in my past life because all I know now is pain and suffering in this life.

anyway that’s all I have in me for tonight, so remember folks, express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted, and be kind to others.

Butch
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Lathe wood projects | ehow - ehow | how to videos, Lathe wood projects. you can make a number of wood projects while turning a wooden workpiece on a lathe. the machine holds the wood tightly at both ends and spins it. Wood lathe small projects | ehow - ehow | how to videos, A wood lathe is a machine used for turning, carving, or facing wood blocks and pieces. there are different sizes of wood lathes available. small or mini.

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The House just isn’t a Home when my Wife is absent

Today is the day we (my wife & I) were dreading, Chemo day, my Wife gets upset and cries when ever she has to go in for chemo, partly because it makes her so sick (ironic since it is also what’s keeping her alive) and partly because for the next 3 or 4 days she will be separated from her Family (Hammy and I) as well as her beloved pets ,Sabre (Cat) , Tippy (Cat) , Teddy Bearz (Cat) and Peepster (Cat) and of course Memphis (Big Doofy Dog), and the fact she will be away from her home.

It breaks my heart to see her cry, knowing that there is absolutely nothing I can do or say to ease her physical pain or emotional turmoil, I comfort her as best as I can and try to remain positive and strong for her, outwardly I am an emotional rock, but inside I’m dying a thousand deaths knowing my wife suffers so much from Cancer, I want to scream and shout and punch something, anything just to be able to unload the heart ache I feel, knowing that the chemo , at best, is buying my wife a few extra months of life here on earth with us, always praying for a miracle , while also praying that she passes quickly in her sleep so the hurt and pain she feels will cease.

It’s hard on me to see her suffer, to see her struggle to get better so she can see her son graduate, get married, have kids etc. It kills me to know that I can’t fix this, for 17 years with her I have had all the answers, fixed all her problems,stood at her side lovingly through hell and back and through heavenly times too. Now I am at her side to the bitter end, with nothing but pure love and gratefulness, I am so very grateful that she chose to be in my life for the last 17 years, I wish and pray she could be in my life 17 more, but I know that ,that can never happen, a very huge part of me is dying inside.

Yesterday she told me that when she passes, she would want for me to find a companion or at the very least a friend, I told her I could never ever do that, she is my soul mate, I could never find that sort of love and happiness again, no I will remain single, raise our boy to be a fine man,and grow old with my memories of her.

Tonight the house just isn’t a home without my wife here, the atmosphere is different and time passes so slowly, I have to come home every evening because of our boy Hammy, even he notices the subtle changes in the house when she is not here, even the animals notice and react different than usual when she isn’t here.

With that I will say good night, I have opened up as much as I want to do for now, …Remember to express your love often, and never take tomorrow for granted. Peace be with you all

Butch



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