it’s a freakin Snowpocolyps out there!!

Ugh! when I did my last post a few hours ago it was just cold out and nary a snowflake in sight…. fast forward a couple hours and it’s snowing…. not just snowing but SNOWING!! frickin great!! that’s just great! … Welcome to my HELL folks, for the next 7 frickin months I will be shovelling that shit multiple times per day! ….the only bright side to this is the fact that by winters end I will have some serious pipes (muscles)! other than that there is no bright spots……and for all you granola munching salad grazing tree huggers out there who think winter is the best time of year……. JUST BITE ME!… you don’t know winter unless you’re from Nebraska , Alaska, Montana, or Saskatchewan or the Yukon… lets see how effin beautiful you think winter is when it’s minus 55 and there’s 6 feet of goddamned snow that needs to be shovelled!! … yeah stick your beautiful winter theory right in the south end of a north bound donkey! … UGH!!

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T’is also the time of year when every inexperienced winter driver becomes a road hazard! listen folks… driving in a Saskatchewan winter is a whole new level of driving… how you drive in every other province , state, country, planet means JACK SHIT when driving here!! .. let me clue you in here folks… there’s this funky stuff called Black Ice… our highways suck in the best of conditions, but put 3 inches of ice on it and it becomes real fun to drive on… and that’s just the ice you can see!! then there’s the black ice, that shit’s real fun, just as you get your butt unpuckered from driving across 20 miles of regular ice, you round a corner and WHAM suddenly the ass end of your car is twerking like Miley Cyrus on crack!! let me tell you your asshole will slam shut faster and tighter than if you had dropped the soap in a jailhouse shower!

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The last part of this winter rant…and it’s a doozy, it drives me BATSHIT CRAZY…. look folks it’s frickin cold out there, would you like to sleep outside when it’s below zero and snowing?… well your pets don’t effin like it either! bring your frickin pets in during the winter!! it’s friggin animal abuse to leave them out in the cold… look I have a dog, a very big dog, a 160 pound Rottweiler/Shepard cross, he NEEDS to go out every couple hours to take a shit, and trust me he leaves MASSIVE landmines!! thats go out , not BE out, 5 or 10 minutes in this cold weather is more than enough time for him, now if you own a pocket dog (anything smaller than say… 30 pounds) their time out is probably a bit less, if my massive dog is freezing his nuts off after 10 minutes …imagine how your pocket dog whose nuts probably do drag the ground must feel! …. let us not forget the cats!! those psychotic mousers are just not adapted or evolved to handle being outdoors in winter! they do sell cat litter in stores… frickin USE IT!! don’t let your damn cat out at minus 20! it’s got HAIR not FUR , wanna feel what the cat feels… strip down to your underoos and go stand out in a snow bank for 20 minutes…. that’s what your cat feels!! sorry but irresponsible pet owners just piss me right the eff off! if you’re not willing to spend the next 10 to 15 years (sometimes longer) loving and looking after a pet….don’t friggin get one! at best the smartest dog has the same brain power as a 2 year old human…. that dog is your forever 2 year old! unless you’re willing to spend the next decade looking after a toddler…don’t get a friggin dog! …cats… they’re a whole different kind of animal… they are smart enough not to let humans know just how effing smart they are! either way folks, it’s cold out, be responsible with your pets a good rule of thumb is, if you don’t like being out in the cold,your pet(s) won’t either. and hey… if you can spare a bowl or 2, set some food out for the strays in your area… those animals have a hard life, lend a hand won’t you?

Remember folks : express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted, and be kind to others.

Butch
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