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Rabu, 09 Maret 2016

Dumbass Award …


So Last night was a rough night, I couldn’t stop thinking about my wife, about our life we had built together, about the 18 years of memories (16 of those years happy and blissful) , I laughed I cried, I smiled a lot, and didn’t get any sleep until almost 3 am.

I have to be up at 7:30 am on weekdays to get my kidlet fed and watered and ready for school, like his Mother was, Hammy is one of those annoying people who wake up all bouncy and cheery and full of energy …. me…. not so much, I’ve been known to utter death threats prior to consuming at least 3 cups of coffee.

I do appreciate his exuberance , and it does brighten the rest of my day….. however I am not so functional until after those 3 cups of coffee, my ritual consists of getting up, getting to the washroom before Hammy gets there (he likes to play video games during his morning constitutional) , putting the coffee on ( why I don’t just use the timer and set it the night before is beyond me cause really I am just that dumb!) getting the dog out for his business ( he also wakes up full of energy and overly happy) , standing on the back step in my jammies and jacket having a smoke while the dog does his thing ( takes about 10 minutes) .

So today I have been dog assed tired, I’m so tired that I can barely function today , I had a couple snoozes on the couch , they helped a bit, my body feels rested but Mentally I’m just wiped, So I was doing the routine house chores, and while doing dishes the water goes off… WTF I paid my bill ! … first thought was a burst pipe , so I open the dreaded hatch to the crawl space under the house, grab a flashlight and down I go , it’s pretty muddy down there, some water is getting in from the melting snow (we have been above zero for 3 days now!!) theres not a whole lot I can do about the water coming in , it will eventually dry out, anyway I am crawling around deftly dodging Spiders ( my weakness… spiders, they terrify me and have been known to send me running and screaming like a little girl) , I am checking the pipes for leaks cracks and the possibility of being froze…. about this time I am covered in mud and cobwebs , I stick my head up out of the hatch and the damn dog nearly eats me!! he didn’t recognize me ( the dumb shit) so after bellowing at him to eff off the light goes on in his window and he figures out that it is just me, I crawl out with a funky damp smell covered head to toe in mud , shed my clothes and head for the washroom to clean up…… no water DOH!!

So I grab my jacket, forgetting to put my pants on and run outside with an empty ice cream pail to get some snow ….. yep about that time my neighbor pulled into my driveway …. and there I was in a jacket, a pair of old slippers and my Underoos … no pants!!

My neighbour didn’t say a word, he just sat in his car laughing, yeeeahhhh … I took the walk of shame to the house and found some sweat pants , turns out he was just checking on me to make sure I was okay since he hadn’t heard from me in a week .

while nuking my bucket of snow in the microwave , a thought occurred to me.. phone the village office an see if they know why the water is out… I did , they were closed ( figures)

I cleaned up as best I could with my bucket of water, and about that time the water magically came back on DOH! … so into the shower I went.

So I am a Dumbass , I could have called the village office at 2 pm to see why there was no water, but nope, didn’t think of that , instead I took the hard way and spent an hour and a half under the house checking the pipes for nothing… as it turns out the fire department was blowing out their hydrants making sure they had pressure and such…. turns out when they open those valves all the town water pressure gets diverted to the hydrants and the houses lose water along the street the hydrant is located ….. hmmmm they could have posted a notice in the village hall!! hell a phone call woulda been nice.

So yes today I was a Dumbass and just had to do things the hard way… simply for no other reason than I can DOH!


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