if it weren’t for Bad Luck I’d have no luck at all !!

Woke up this morning to more snow, okay this is Canada we get snow, lots of it, and out here on the prairies of Saskatchewan (Sask-at-chew-an) <<-now say it fast ;) , we get a lot of snow, we get dumped on for 7 months of the year (Boston doesn’t hold a candle to Saskatchewan) , it’s been snowing all dang day, normally I wouldn’t complain, hey I’m a Canukian , I’m used to it!

No the run of bad luck started after Hammy and I shovelled out the driveway, I noticed the rear driver’s side tire on the Mighty Cavalier was flat…. dang it!! I should mention that though it was still snowing, it was warm enough to cause it to melt, yet windy enough (blizzard) to refreeze it instantly…. which of course froze all 5 doors shut on the Mighty Cavalier….. the jack, tire iron, jack stands… everything…. inside the car. and guess what… NO SPARE!! not even a dinky donut wheel !!

After prying one of the doors open (Hammy held the handle in the open position, I pried it open with a crowbar) << Standard practice here on the prairies) we get everything we need to change the tire…. AAAAaaaaaannnnndddddd the lugnuts are frozen solid!! not only frozen but also covered in frozen mud and other debris …Oh my day just keeps getting better!!!

After cleaning the lugnuts as best I could with steel wool, (they were still froze) with Hammy jumping on the wheel wrench trying to break the lug nuts loose (he weighs in at 135 pounds) … they were not coming off with the wheel wrench, so I break out the BIG GUNS… a 6 foot Breaker Bar and a Heavy Duty socket set, I put all my 225 pounds behind that bar, and Hammy threw in his 135 pounds to be sure…. those lug nuts came off!… all except for 1…… which after some cursing and brute force, came off too ….. and got stuck inside the dang socket!!

3 hours later and the lug nut is still stuck in the socket wrench, finally my will to live utterly shattered I walked over to a neighbour and asked if he could remove the lug nut from the socket, he had it free in less than 5 minutes!!…. in my defence, I did pre oil it for him, and if my dang workshop wasn’t froze shut I coulda done it myself!

Oh it just gets better, I walk back to the car and think to myself… my God it is leaning heavy on the front ( it wasn’t on the jack yet)… I thought maybe I broke a shock or something…. I go for a closer inspection …. AAAAAAAaaaaaaannnnnddddd…. the right front tire is flatter than a pancake!! AAArrrrrgggghhhh!!!!

Repeat the above storyline with the front tire…and yes all the lug nuts save 1 came off with the breaker bar….. and yep you’re right, that 1 lug nut gets jammed in the socket wrench…. Back to my Neighbour I go…. the long walk of SHAME!! he’s laughing, I’m not, and once again he removes the lug nut from the socket.

I think I told you I have no spare tire, let alone 2 of them…. now I’m in a pickle, I need to buy 2 new tires, I have the money, that’s not the problem, the problem is I can only jack 1 side of the car at a time and leave it on the jack stands without a tire….. the laws of Physics begin to take over if you try to remove a tire on the opposite corner, if both back tires were flat, or both tires on the same side of the car were flat it wouldn’t be much of an issue, gravity would do it’s thing and hold the car firmly in place on the jack stands……HOWEVER….. the flats are in opposing corners, ( Left Rear and Right Front)…. add to that an icy uneven driveway, mixed with solid ground and soft snow…. and it’s the twilight zone…. the car will teeter totter on the jack stands, can’t have that! if the car teeter totters it stands to reason that 1 if not both jackstands will fail or kick out and then I am ROYALLY HOOPED ….

All I can do is take 1 tire off , have it replaced, put it back on then remove the other tire and do the same…. I live 35 miles from the nearest tire shop…. yes a friend will take me and my tire in, both times, but the kicker…. the weather, more snow and munis 40 temperatures are on the way for all next week!

Yep if it weren’t for Bad Luck, I’d have no luck at all!

Remember folks,express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted,and be kind to others.

Butch
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Valentine’s Day has lost it’s luster… at least for me

Today is Valentine’s day , it should be a day of great happiness, joy and love, it should be a time when all single folks spend their time with friends or family making memories, it should be a time when lovers profess their love to each other, it should be a time when families openly show their love to each other, it should be a day where you know you are truly loved.

Today would have been our 18th year Anniversary, it was supposed to be a day in which we had our own tradition, today is the 1 day of the year I would have refrained from saying NO to any wish or desire that my wife may have had (and she has had some doozies over the years), Today is the day that I would have spent granting every wish and going to great lengths to profess my love to her.

Today is the day that I would have had reservations at her favorite 5 start restaurant, today is the day our house would have been filled with flowers, today is the day I would have romanced the jinkers out of her, today is the day we would have went dancing.

Today was our day, it would have been our Anniversary, Today is the day I would have gotten down on one knee , opened a small box with a jewelry trinket of some sort and proposed to her yet again for the 18th Time, a tradition I have done every year with her, my way of saying Darling, I loved you from the very start and as each year passes my love for you only grows stronger and deeper, you are even more beautiful now as the day we first met, and Darling, if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a single thing, I love you more than life itself.

This Valentines day all I have is a deep sense of loss, my Heart aches and I weep tears of deep sorrow and loneliness, all I have left are memories of a happier time. I force a smile as the memories flow, I weep as I watch families out for a nice morning walk, I miss her, no Today is now just another day now, and will forever be.

Today is hard on Hammy too, today is the day he would have given her a homemade card that he made in art class at school, today is the day he would have kissed his Mom on the cheek and told her just how much he loved her, today is the day he would have strived and gone the extra mile to make her happy, to do as she asked without question or thought, today is the day he would have catered to her every whim,today is the day where he would have shared in the feelings of love, today is the day where he would have felt the love of his little family.

It’s not the same now without her, Today is just another day for Hammy and I now, Today we will play chess and share a nice meal together, today we will go for a walk and try to avoid the families that are out and about, today has become a day of remembrance of what was once a Happy joyous day, today is a day that is forever changed, today is now just another day. a hard day on the both of us.

Butch.
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Grasping at Straws

With my beautiful wife in the hospital doing another round of Chemo, the nights at home out here are quiet , sure I have our son here too but he is a 12 year old boy so I can only talk about life so much with him.

So after the kidlet is tucked away for the night,the house work done, and having ran out of home repairs or DIY projects to do, I get to thinking, I think a lot about the 17 wonderful incredible years that I have spent with her , it’s a small comfort to me to think back on all the love, joy, and happiness that we have shared for so long.

I know that I am going to lose my wife, and it almost kills me to admit that fact, a big part of me wants to be like our son and go into complete and utter denial and believe that the chemo will cure her…. it won’t, I know this, but still I can not help but to look outside the medical professionals for help, any kind of help, even if it brings me false hope , I’ve started investing in holistics , not large sums of money, just $20 here and there, such as a bracelet made of hazelwood , it is supposed to draw out poisons from the body, and should be replaced every 6 months, I found a steady supply of B-17 (laetrile) they use that in Mexico on cancer patients, it’s not FDA approved here in Canada so my supplier gets them across the border for me,(I don’t ask how) .

As I said I spend my nights thinking, always about my wife, Tonight a thought occured to me that maybe just maybe a Native Shaman/Medicine man/woman may be able to help, how I don’t know,as I have never been to one before, so I asked my sister to ask around to help find one.

I did buy some sweet grass for prayer purposes and 2 mineral stones for her to hold/play with when she is idle, these stones are healing stones for lung ailments, I may very well be grasping at straws, but even though it is very selfish of me…..I am just not prepared to live my life without her at my side, yes I will have to do so, but dammit I just can’t lose my WIFE!!! I will carry on and raise our son to be the fine gentleman he is shaping up to be of course, but I will do it while heart broken .

I am not an overly religious person, more spiritual than anything,but I pray every night and day for my wife to be spared, I know many many people are praying for my wife and I sincerely appreciate it, as does my wife and our son.

Anyway I will end here for tonight, remember to express your love often, be kind to others and never take tomorrow for granted.

Butch



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A day at the movies The Conjuring supper and our own Haunting

I finally had a free day, well, afternoon really as I finished up my work at 1 pm so I hurried home,showered and got cleaned up while my Wife was busy baking her wicked Blueberry pies, I changed into my Sunday best (clean levi 501s ,white dress shirt,I zipped back downstairs hurrying so my Wife wouldnt notice, broke out the hair grease (brylcreem) ,then broke out the Stetson Cologne , about that time my Wife figured something was up cause I seldom wear the cologne.

Now my Wife is a natural beauty, she doesnt require make up and has a natural glow about her, I just winked at her as she set the last of the pies on the cooling rack and said, hey wanna go on a date? just you and me (we have the house to ourselves for a week as our son Hammy is away at camp), she scooted upstairs and put on a rather nice pair of snug fitting jeans and a equally form fitting shirt, threw her hair up in a ponytail, dabbed a bit of her flowery perfume and out the door we went, I didnt fill her in on any plans as I really didnt have any , I just wanted some one on one time with my Wife.

We took the HillBilly Cadillac (big Bronco 4x4) cuz hey, thats how we roll out here in the country, we left the family car for when our kidlet is home, besides my Wife totally thinks its hot the way I shift the gears and she loves the rumble of that huge V8, I like to wind it up then take my foot off the pedal causing the engine to growl and rumble like a jake brake, puts a sassy smile on her face every dang time! I seldom use the truck anymore as it only gets about 9 miles to the gallon, and at $1.50 per litre ($6.75 per US Gallon),it usually sits under the oak tree in the back yard, but she LOVES that Beast,so just to make her all that much more happy I damn near broke the bank driving her around in it lol.

So we ended up in the city and I said hey, lets you and I go to the movies (her and I havent been to a movie alone in 12 years,ever since we had Hammy)and as music to my ears she said you pick the movie!! was a tough choice between Pacific Rim or the Conjuring, now Im not always the smartest Butch on the planet, but I do know that high action sci-fi fantasy just doesnt get my wife worked up as they do me, so I chose The Conjuring.

The movie didnt let us down, it wasnt the end all be all scarefest for me, though I did jump when the Demon jumped from the top of a bedroom hutch and pounced on the girl, my wife on the other hand was terrified and between screams would hug my arm tight (I swear her finger prints are permanently on my arm lol) I think I had more fun watching her than the movie lol
The Conjuring is not a movie Id let a kid under the age of 14 watch,though I will NOT be in the same room as my Wifes doll collection alone anytime soon (those things have always squicked me out to some extent).

After the movie we went out for supper, over supper my Wife casually commented that the house in the movie was about as old as ours,and it had a lot of similar features,especially the upstairs, I just nodded not saying much as our house just happens to be haunted, not haunted like in the movies,nothing evil demonic or bad, our house happens to have an old man who walks up the creaky old stairs every night at 2:30 am ,there is also a little boy who frequents the kitchen and sometimes the living room,and lets not forget the grey lady who is usually glimpsed in the mud room and washroom.

We agreed over supper that our ghostly friends are much preferred over the nasty stuff that Lorrain and Ed Warren dealt with, I pointed out that if our dog didnt ever want to enter the house nor the cats, then Id most likely not have bought our house, yes he barks at shadows and the cats sometimes are fixated on a wall, but in the almost 6 years we have been in the house nothing bad has ever happened. I cant tell you where the boy or grey lady came from or why they are here, perhaps they died in the house, the old man is actually Abbys (a friend of ours) Grand Father (or so we think) as he did in fact die in this house.

Our house came with the reputation of being Haunted, we were made aware of this by the neighbours while we were unloading the U-Haul,I smudged the house with Sage and sweet grass that very day lol

anyway thats all for tonight , Ill tell you more about living in a haunted house in the next post,but right now my Wife is giving me that come hither look so Im gonna go lay down my groove thang on her and see if we cant end this night with a sleepy smile on both our faces .

Butch










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A Cold Beer at the end of the day

So as of yet I have no idea which way or where I want my Blog to go? ….I’m just kinda winging it as I go along, Do I center it completely around my wife and her battle with cancer? do I start writing more about LGBT issues ? Hell I don’t know where this blog is going, it just sort of ebbs and flows with what ever is on my mind at any given moment, maybe for now I’ll just leave it at that and just continue along my merry way.

The main reason I don’t really write about LGBT issues more is …. I live in the land of Equality, with the exception of the Trans community, what do I really have to write about? my personal life and family have been assimilated into mainstream society and lead an average life…. I would write more about Trans issues and the lack of Equality both in mainstream society and within the LGBT community itself…. I will make a note to self to do some digging in depth on that subject, I don’t really see it much out here in the country, I do have a couple Trans friends in the city I can question and get their thoughts on the issues Trans folks face here in Saskatchewan Canada, and in Canada in general.

The 1 thing I won’t write about often is politics , for starters Canada’s political scene isn’t nearly as interesting as American politics, ours is a real snooze fest, for instance right now we have HERR Harper and his Neo Republican party that call them selves the progressive conservatives …. Loose translation, hey don’t mind us we are gonna anal rape Canada and if given the chance sell Canada to the USA for a buck party. Their official opposition party is the New Democrats a Socialist party that would destroy Canada in less than 4 years (1 term in office), on a provincial level they turned Saskatchewan into a barren waste land of unemployment, it was so bad that 1 in 3 people were on welfare because of the new democrat socialist policies ( re 1980’s through 2000) ,….. On the other end of the spectrum there are the Liberals, they are actually good for the Country, but Canadians are just too stupid to realize that, back when Chretien led the liberals they brought Canada out of debt, had Trillions in surplus money, they drove the economy so well that Western Canada actually got along with the East, and those whiners in Quebec stopped trying to separate from Canada, we all got along and played nice for 14+ years in the same sand box…. That’s about all that can be said of Canadian politics .

For a Canadian , I have some very strong opinions and ideas about ISIS and the whole shit storm in the middle east, so I keep my opinions to myself because like any good Canadian, I don’t really wanna offend anyone (yes we really are that sickeningly nice) , there are a few opinions I keep to myself (trust me it’s for the greater good).

Okay so that went off the rails quick! (trust me I deleted a middle east rant), so lets get back to pondering a bit, it’s a safer subject.

Anyway I took a day off from splitting wood (I really really need to buy an electric or hydrolic log splitter), after 3 days of chopping wood my arms and shoulders are beyond pain and well into the hurts so effing bad they’re numb (I might add that I am out of shape) ,so today I fired up the BBQ and surprised my wife and our son with some home made burgers that I put together earlier in the day while my wife napped, I sliced some zucchini length wise , brushed some olive oil and sea salt on them and threw them on the BBQ too on low , I don’t know what possessed me to do that, I just wanted to try it and to my surprise they roasted right up and tasted great!

I even went so far as to do the dishes for my wife tonight, while she played plants vs zombies, now I’m sitting back writing here and drinking an iced cold Canadian beer trying to figure out where to take this blog while keeping my opinions to myself lol

Guess I’ll stop here for now, remember folks : express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted and be kind to others .

Butch
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